Shadows over Loathing wander events

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Wander events are random encounters which show up as you travel between different locations, or when you use the "wander" button to explore locally. Encounters are generally divided based on the target region.

The game tracks the last five wander encounters you've seen and tries to avoid giving the same encounter in a row. There are some "special" encounters (location unlocks, companion interactions) which have custom chance of appearing, depending on the encounter. The remaining encounters are divided into the following categories:

  • Fights (default 40% chance; +20% more with shadow loop; +20% more with Checkered Past)
  • XP tests (default 15% chance; +15% more with Ambition)
  • Treasure (default 15% chance; +15% more with Meat-Minded)
  • Gathering (default 15% chance; +15% more with Acquisitive Nature)
  • Wandering salesmen (default 15% chance; 15% more with FOOTS ring; 10% less after purchasing the three salesman items below)

Ocean City

Location unlocks

Encounter Result Conditions
As you're walking, Gabby strikes up a conversation. "So, you are new in Ocean City? Your first time at it?" Location unlocked: Ocean City Boardwalk One time, with Gabby
Oh hey, aren't we near the boardwalk? Let's go check it out! Location unlocked: Ocean City Boardwalk One time, with Simone
A distant calliope calls to you. "Calliopes only exist on boardwalks," it seems to say, "thus if you follow my sound, you will find a boardwalk!" Location unlocked: Ocean City Boardwalk One time
Things have changed ſo much in the City ſince I was laſt here. I don't recognize any of theſe Buildings. And they are ſo tall! Location unlocked: St. Polycarp's Cathedral One time, with Professor Adams
There's a nice li'l cathedral up the street a ways, if you're interested in that sorta thing. Location unlocked: St. Polycarp's Cathedral One time, with Obie the Oboe Hobo
You hear the ringing of cathedral bells and turn to see their source. Unsurprisingly, it is a cathedral. Unless you're just naturally surprised by cathedrals. Location unlocked: St. Polycarp's Cathedral One time
Alphonse gets a wild look in his eyes (wilder than usual, I mean) and glares around as if searching for something. Location unlocked: Tentacle House One time, with Alphonse Gator
<dogname> tilts his head quizzically, like dogs do when they hear a funny noise. Location unlocked: Eerie Music House One time, with Barker
As you're walking down one of Ocean City's residential streets on the way to where you're going, you hear eerie music coming from the upstairs window of a nearby house. Location unlocked: Eerie Music House One time
Oh hey, you mind if we take a detour? I got a letter to mail to my baby, an' I think there's a mailbox down the other end of this street. Location unlocked: Mailbox One time, with Molly Buttons
On your way to where you're going, you happen to notice a guy across the street. In particular, you notice that he's sitting on top of a mailbox. He notices you too, and extends his hand toward you for a handshake. Location unlocked: Mailbox One time

Gathering encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
You see some super-hardened sap oozing out of a wound in one of Ocean City's street trees. Gather impenetrable shellac Cryptobotanist
You notice a pile of yellowish-white grit in the middle of the road. You catch a whiff of it and identify it as Muscle Corn. Must've fallen off a truck and then been run over by a series of different trucks.\nsay It's powerful stuff -- you shouldn't let it go to waste! Gather powerful grit Cryptobotanist
On the side of a discarded hot dog in the gutter, you notice a rare form of lichen. Gather sordid grease Cryptobotanist

You spy a nest of pomade wasps underneath the awning of an abandoned storefront.

"Vespula Capillifluidus!" you exclaim, to nobody in particular. You remember learning about these things in college, and how their nests are a good source of hair gel if you ever find yourself lost in the woods without enough hair gel to last until you're rescued.

Gather stylish gel Insectologist
You hear a buzzing noise, which you trace to a small swarm of very large mosquitoes, drifting lazily around a sewer grate. They can barely stay aloft, they're so inflated with stolen human blood. Dang. This city is really dropping the ball on their public health measures. Gather hematic ichor Insectologist
In an alley just off the street you're following, you see a bunch of worms burrowing around in a pile of garbage. Instead of being repulsed by this, like a normal person would be, you are excited, because you recognize the worms as annelida grodicus - the Western Jungle Filthworm! You think back on your lab training - you're pretty sure you remember how to get them to extrude some nasty and valuable goo! Gather fustulent grulch Insectologist
You notice a strangely discolored patch of curb next to a sewer grate. Gather glowing ooze Psychogeologist
A pebble next to the sidewalk catches your eye. Using that exact same eye, you determine that it's no ordinary pebble -- it's a petrified espresso bean! Gather energizing powder Psychogeologist
As you're walking past one of Ocean City's many disused public urinals, you notice that one has been filled up with ice cubes. Gather frosty flakes Psychogeologist

Companion encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
You find your path unexpectedly blocked by a huge pile of junk -- a broken-down car, a busted lamppost, a couch with the springs poking out of it, and a wide variety of other assorted trash. Gabby's Muscle increases by 1 With Gabby; one time
Gabby takes a piece of candy out of her purse Gain 1 of With Gabby
Obie stops at the entrance to an alley and looks around. Obie's Maximum HP increases by 5 With Obie the Oboe Hobo; one time
Obie stops and calls your attention to a small park that the two of you are walking past. (He wants to busk) Gain 12-18 Meat With Obie the Oboe Hobo
As the two of you are walking down the street, Molly suddenly stops and gestures at a nearby gun shop. "Oh hey, I know this bulldogger. Hang on a second." Molly's Moxie increases by 1. With Molly Buttons, one time
Molly notices some tin cans scattered in an alley, and stops to stack them into a pyramid. "Let's do some bean-shooter practice! Every little bit helps, an' (anyway my finger's gettin' itchy." Gain 5 XP With Molly Buttons
Dr. Adams spots an abandoned newspaper on a park bench and picks it up. Professor Adams' Mysticality increases by 1 With Professor Adams; one time
As the two of you are strolling down the city sidewalks, Professor Adams occasionally stops to make a quick sketch of some modern thing that you totally take for granted. Gain 1 of With Professor Adams
Oh god, what is that screeching metal sound? ...Alphonse, what are you doing to that car? Alphonse's Tail Swipe now reduces enemy stats by 1 more. With Alphonse Gator; one time
You! Take thing! Gain shadow rope With Alphonse Gator
Oh huh, someone left a fire hydrant open. I guess some kids were playing in it or something. <dogname>'s Maximum HP increases by 5 With Barker; one time
Horf. Glurf Gain 2 of With Barker
Simone spots a nearby office supply store and waves you to a halt. Simone's Maximum HP increases by 5 With Simone; one time
Hey, look down that alley -- there's an old newspaper vending machine next to the dumpster. Gain 12-18 Meat With Simone

Repeatable/quest encounters

Encounter Result Conditions

You see a glint of metal underneath a nearby bush.

Hey, this must be that thing Charles Wallace lost!

Find Charles' chuck key one time, after Charles asks for it
An elderly man with thick eyeglasses shuffles up to you with a determined expression. Before you can react, he shoves some Meat in your mouth and shouts in your ear. Find 4-6 Meat.
As you're walking through Ocean City, you encounter a mailbox that has been tipped over by some vandals.
  • Right it (3 Muscle) Gain 4 XP
  • Leave it alone - nothing
A chortling street tough in the alley challenges passers-by to arm wrestle for the title of Alley King.
  • Roll up your sleeves (4 Muscle) Gain 5 XP
  • Leave the king on his throne for today - nothing
As you're walking through Ocean City, you see a couple of stranded motorists trying to change a car tire. Their efforts aren't amounting to squat, though, because they don't have a jack.
  • Lift the car for them (5 Muscle) - Gain 5 XP
  • Apologize and leave - nothing
In an Ocean City back alley, you find some strange graffiti -- an unsolved long division problem.
In an alleyway, you encounter some poor street urchins struggling with their math homework.
  • Tutor them (4 Mysticality) - Gain 5 XP
  • Leave them to it - nothing
You see an IRS agent through the window of a diner, struggling with his paperwork.
  • Correct his calculations (5 Mysticality) - Gain 6 XP
  • Pinch his cheek and keep walking - nothing
You come across a wall with a joke scrawled on it. It's only sort of ribald.
  • Make it more ribald (3 Moxie) - Gain 4 XP
  • Sort of ribald is ribald enough I guess - nothing
Some amateur wit has penned a bon moton the wall of a bathroom stall.
  • Make the bon mot mottier (4 Moxie) - Gain 5 XP
  • Leave it -- the bathroom is no place for humour anyway - nothing
You take a wrong turn into an underground coffeehouse just as a thinly mustachioed man demands any decent person to defend the formal vulgarity of Joyce's Ulysses.
  • Defend it (5 Moxie) - Gain 6 XP
  • Run away - nothing
A well-dressed man flags you down. "Excuse me there, my good citizen. Might you have a match on your person?"

If you don't have a match - find a match

If you have a match:

  • "Sure, here ya go." - lose a match, gain 5 XP
  • "Yes, but I might need it later." - nothing
  • "No." [Lie] - nothing
  • I'm sorry, no. [Two Lies] - nothing
  • No but also yes. [Paradox] - nothing

"Say there. Would you like to purchase a set of encyclopedias?"

Or if you've seen him before: Across the street from you, you see the guy who tried to sell you those dirty joke books.

While meandering the streets of Ocean City, you encounter a man carrying a medium-sized piece of luggage. "You look like someone who appreciates a fine pair of pants."

Or if you've seen him before: "Hey hey! I knew you couldn't keep away from a deal like this!"

On your way to wherever, you run into a cool guy wearing some cool sunglasses. "Care to buy yourself a pair?"

Or if you've seen him before: He shoots you a wink, which you can't actually see because he's wearing sunglasses. "You change your mind about my offer?"

A thin, nervous-looking man in a suit stops you. "Ah, excuse me um, d-do you fear for your safety in this dangerous city full of hoodlums and criminals?"

Or if you've seen him before: You bump into that nervous derringer salesman from before. "D-did you change your mind about purchasing one of my easily-concealable personal defense weapons?"

A man on the street does a big, theatrical double-take as you pass. "Just wanted to get another look at ya."

Or if you've seen him before: The paper clip salesman from earlier does another double-take when he sees you.

  • "Okay, I'll buy one." - buy a paper clip for 10 meat
  • "Yeah, I'll pass, thank you." - nothing

A hobo nods pleasantly as you pass, and tips his battered hat to you. "Howdy, friend, my name's [Hobo Name] ... any chance y'could spare 3 Meat so's I can buy some caviar?"

  • "Sure, here y'go" (4 meat) - +1 hobo kindness
  • "I'm a little short, sorry." (if you don't have enough meat) - nothing
  • "Not today, sorry" - nothing?
  • "Buzz off, hobo" - nothing?
 With 2 or less hobo kindness
A bedraggled hobo shuffles up to you with his hat in his hands. "'Scuse me, friend, don't mean ta trouble ya. My name's [Hobo Name] ... Just [3-7] Meat for a cuppa joe to warm these old bones?"
  • "Sure, here y'go" (3-7 meat) - +1 hobo kindness
  • "Not today, sorry" - nothing?
  • "Buzz off, hobo" - nothing?
 With 2 or less hobo kindness
You encounter a hobo who is sauntering down the sidewalk. "Well hey there, friend! Aren't you [playername]? I'm [Hobo Name]." "Why don'tcha come visit our camp? We'd be glad ta have ya!" Location unlocked: Ocean City Hobo Camp With 3 hobo kindness
A friendly-looking fishman sticks his head out of a nearby manhole and hurls a bunch of wet stuff at you with a friendly gurgle.

Gain 2 of one item from this group and 1 of another, and 30-40 Meat

 Made peace with the Fishmother
One of the Tin Lizzies flags you down. Hey Boss! After joining the Tin Lizzies' gang

Fight encounters

Encounter Result Conditions

You barely have time to react as the ground shakes and shudders violently without warning, then bursts in a rain of earth as several large, slimy tentacles force their way out of the ground, writhing and twisting and groping at their surroundings!

Or, after seeing the above message once, the intro text changes to:
The ground shakes again, and more of those horrible slimy tentacles erupt out of the ground nearby! They hurl nasty blobs of goop everywhere and thrash around blindly, trying to grab you!

Have not cleared out Tentacle House

You hear a wet, burbling noise coming from an alley, and cautiously peer around the corner. Two more of those weird fish-headed guys are rooting around through the trashcans. You don't think they're the same ones from before, but since you're not hugely familiar with anthropomorphic fishmen, it's hard to be sure.

One of them suddenly looks up, and blinks in your direction. Crap, did it see you? "Hurblurglub?"

  • Fight them (fight) - ?
  • Sneak past them (2 Moxie) - gain 3 XP
  • Hose them down (expired seltzer) - gain 3 XP
  • Surrender - nothing if you haven't killed any fishmen, else get beaten up
 Have not made peace with the Fishmother
First time:

You stop dead in your tracks when you see three of those weird fishmen lurking in the mouth of an alley up ahead. They're peering around with their glistening, staring eyes and glurbling at each other quietly -- until one of them notices you. It and its two companions start stalking toward you, making wet growling sounds.

Further times:
With a sinister "Glurburglurlglub!", three of those horrible fishmen come at you out of nowhere. Well, not nowhere. Two come at you out of an alley, and the third one crawls out of a nearby manhole. Fishhole?

Have not made peace with the Fishmother
Two goblins wearing shorts with suspenders and carrying... you know those things, those marching band things? They're like an upright harp, except instead of strings they have metal xylophone bars? Those things. Anyway these goblins are carrying those, and they interrupt you.
Fight them
Enemies
 2 of
XP (kill)
 5
Drops
 8-12 meat
1 of
33% chance of birkenglocks (if you don't have them)
  • Fight them
  • Scare them away (Brag) - gain 5 XP
  • Hypnotize them (Bewitch) - gain 5 XP
  • Trick them (Bamboozle) - gain 4-6 Meat + Glocklinbrot
  • [You use the cursed fedora to achieve your aims.] - nothing
  • Surrender Lose 5 {{meat} and get beaten up
 One time
Long before you actually turn the corner, you hear two Glockins playing their high-pitched plinkety glockenspiels extremely loudly.
Fight them
Enemies
 2 of
XP (kill)
 5
Drops
 8-12 meat
50% chance of Glockenspielery flyer
or
 Have not defeated the Glocklin boss
You are unexpectedly surrounded by three Glocklins, menacingly playing their glockenspiels at you. Which is a real trick, if you think about it.
Fight them
Enemies
 3 of
XP (kill)
 5
Drops
 8-12 meat
50% chance of Glockenspielery flyer
or
  • Fight them
  • Pay them Lose 3-10 meat
 Have not defeated the Glocklin boss

Well, here's an unusual sight - four Glocklins are playing their glockenspiels while doing some kind of traditional folk dance.

It involves a lot of skipping and hopping and turning around in a square with precise timing, so they aren't paying any attention to you. Or to anything else, really.

Attack them
Enemies
 4 of
XP (kill)
 5
Drops
 8-12 meat
50% chance of Glockenspielery flyer
or
  • Attack them
  • Join in - pick again
  • Ignore them - nothing
 Have not defeated the Glocklin boss
A young man wearing a flour-dusted apron swaggers up to you with a loaf of french bread on his shoulder and an arrogant sneer on his face. "Hey pal, this is Doughboy territory. If you wanna walk down this street, you gotta pay the toll."
Fight him
Enemies
 Doughboy Loafer
dough baby
XP (kill)
 5
Drops
 8-12 meat
50% chance of freshly-baked roll
50% chance of clammy doughglob
30% chance of chef's hat
30% chance of doughboy loaf
  • That's all? - ups the shakedown to 10 meat
  • Okay here (5 meat) - nothing
  • I don't have 5 meat (fight)
  • How about five knuckles? (fight)
  • Let him beat you up - get Beaten up.
 One time
A couple of unruly young hooligans are standing on the street corner ahead of you. "Where d'you think you're going crêpe?"
Fight 'em
Enemies
 Doughboy Loafer
1 of
2 dough babies
XP (kill)
 5
Drops
 8-12 meat
50% chance of freshly-baked roll
50% chance of clammy doughglob
30% chance of chef's hat
30% chance of doughboy loaf
Doughboys hideout recipe (if you don't know it)
Have not defeated the Doughboy boss
As you're walking down the street, a Doughboy steps into your path, menacingly slapping the end of a long french baguette into his other hand. His friend is behind you.
Fight them
Enemies
 2 Doughboy Loafers
2 dough babies
XP (kill)
 5
Drops
 8-12 meat
50% chance of freshly-baked roll
50% chance of clammy doughglob
30% chance of chef's hat
30% chance of doughboy loaf
Doughboys hideout recipe (if you don't know it)
Have not defeated the Doughboy boss
You stop short as you turn the corner and duck behind a lamppost -- down the street, three Doughboys are hanging out in a think cloud of smoke.
Ambush them
Enemies
 Doughboy Loafer
Doughboy Flourstormer
Doughboy Tosser
3 dough babies
XP (kill)
 5
Drops
 8-12 meat
50% chance of freshly-baked roll
50% chance of clammy doughglob
30% chance of chef's hat
30% chance of doughboy loaf
Doughboys hideout recipe (if you don't know it)
  • Ambush them (fight)
  • Demonstrate the hazards of open-air dust fires (match) - lose a match, gain a burnt chef's hat.
  • Avoid them - nothing
 Have not defeated the Doughboy boss
Hands in the air, pal. You're on Tin Lizzy turf, and this is a stick up.
Fight her
Enemies
 Tin Lizzy Greaser
whirling wrench
XP (kill)
 5
Drops
 8-12 meat
Tin Lizzy grease gun
One time
You pass by an alley where two women wearing grease-stained coveralls and welding masks are slouching against the wall and sharing a cigarette. "Hey -- isn't that the jerk Aluminum Mindy was telling us about?
Fight them
Enemies
 2 Tin Lizzy Welders
2 whirling wrenches
XP (kill)
 5
Drops
 unlock The Tin Lizzies' Chop Shop
or
  • Fight them (fight) -
  • Rain on their parade (expired seltzer) - gain 5 XP
  • Surrender - nothing
 Have not defeated the Tin Lizzies' boss
You round a streetcorner and encounter a woman in a welding mask using a tightly-focused magical fire to cut the fenders off a parked car.
Fight them
Enemies
 Tin Lizzy Welder
1 of
2 whirling wrenches
XP (kill)
 5
Drops
 unlock The Tin Lizzies' Chop Shop
or
 Have not defeated the Tin Lizzies' boss
You turn a street corner and duck behind a mailbox just in time to avoid being spotted by three Tin Lizzies, who are either squatting on a stoop or stooping on a squat.
Fight them
Enemies
 Tin Lizzy Greaser
Tin Lizzy Wrencher
Tin Lizzy Welder
3 whirling wrenches
Drops
or
  • Give 'em what they want (fight)
  • Leave quietly - gain 3 XP
 Have not defeated the Tin Lizzies' boss
A squad of mob goons are hanging out on the street corner -- leaning insolently against lampposts, flipping quarters in the air, cleaning their fingernails with switchblades, and generally doing the stuff that mob goons do when they're standing around idle somewhere. When they see you coming, they move to block your path.
Fight them
Enemies
 Mob Goon
Mob Capo
1 of
1 of
XP (kill)
 7
Drops
 1 of
30% chance of 1 of
10% chance of 1 of
  • Bribe your way out of it - pay 10 meat, increasing by 10 each time; get 5 XP
  • Fight your way out of it - fight
  • Bleed your way out of it - get beaten up
 Rejected the offer to join the Mob

Shadow encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
First time:

Nothing hovers toward you. I mean, something hovers toward you, but that something is literally nothing.

Further times:
A couple of black orbs, or holes, or whatever these bizarre shadow monsters are made of, are drifting toward you.

"shadow" counter at least 100
You pass by the entrance to a dark alley, and several shadow-spiders scuttle out and attack you! After seeing shadow spiders
You hear a banging noise and hissing coming from the mouth of a nearby alley, and hesitantly check it out. It's probably fine, it's probably just one of those times where a cat jumps out at you and runs away, right? After seeing shadow devils
The streets are starting to feel kind of gloomy. Not that it was a bright and sunny summer day before, but now the shadows are deepening and lengthening under ash-gray skies, and.. well it doesn't help that there's these dark tentacles stretching up into the sky like infinitely-tall pillars of blackness, with other shadow-shapes drifting drifting in and out and behind and through them... After seeing shadow stalks
Your route through the city takes you past a small park. The park doesn't have any people in it, probably because what it does have in it is a big black bell and a bunch of cows. Well, the shadows of cows. Although that implies the existence of cows that are casting the shadows, so I guess they're just shadows shaped like cows? For some reason? After seeing shadow cows
The jerks and twitches of the cursed compass direct you west and westnorth through the alleys of Ocean City, to the final resting place of a blood-red sedan, its chassis curved around a fire hydrant. The engine's still running, and the doors are open, but there's no sign of the driver. Take the Meat - gain 100-150 Meat Wielding the cursed compass
The cursed compass pulls your focus to the southeast. Or is it south-south-east? So fixated are you on the needle's subtle movements you hardly notice the compass has walked you into traffic. Open the box and take what's inside - Gain crafting materials; 3 of one, 2 of another, 1 of a third Wielding the cursed compass

Crystaldream Lake

Location unlocks

Encounter Result Conditions
As you're walking down a dirt road toward your destination, you catch a whiff of dog food.
You turn your head toward its source, which turns out to be a pet store.		 Location unlocked: Greta's Compassionate Pet Store One time
"Look, words! On a stick!" Gabby's pointing at a sign advertising "Greta's Compassionate Pet Store," with an arrow pointing down the road. "A pet storage! Let's go look at a pets!" Location unlocked: Greta's Compassionate Pet Store One time, with Gabby
sniff sniff "Arf! Woof!"
"Did you find something, boy?"
Barker eagerly leads you through the woods, sniffing out a trail. Eventually you come to a sign that says "Greta's Compassionate Pet Store -- this way".		 Location unlocked: Greta's Compassionate Pet Store One time, with Barker
You see a building through a gap in the trees, and pause to investigate. There's a large sign painted on the side of the building that says "Quality Spirits," so presumably it's either a distillery, or a ghost farm. Whatever it used to be, it's a boarded-up wreck now. Location unlocked: Grandpa Joe's Distillery One time
Off the side of the dirt road, you see a little trail of mushrooms. You follow it for a while, and find that it leads to a cave whose mouth has been choked by mushrooms. Those things are bad for you! Location unlocked: Mushroom Cave One time
You notice a particularly cobweb-strewn copse of trees, and as you get near it, you catch a glimpse of a big hole full of spiders in the middle of it. You can just barely read the old wooden sign next to it, declaring to the world that the hole belongs to Beppo. Location unlocked: Beppo's Hole One time, will not appear while Pacifist Mode is turned on
A faded sign by the side of the road reads "HISTORY COMES TO LIFE* AT THE SANDWICH HISTORICAL VILLAGE AND WITCH TRIAL MUSEUM." Beneath that, in smaller print, it says "* but not in a spooky or dangerous way." Location unlocked: Sandwich Trial Museum One time
Molly points out a sign posted at a fork in the trail: "Sandwich Historical Village and Witch Trial Museum". Location unlocked: Sandwich Trial Museum One time, with Molly Buttons
"I ſay, ſomething has juſt occured to me. Are you familiar with a Village nearby, by the name of Sandwich?" Location unlocked: Village of Sandwich? One time, with Professor Adams
You see a faded billboard advertising some kind of crystal shop. Location unlocked: Crystal's Crystaldream Lake Crystal Store One time
"Oh hey... I think a girl I met at school has a shop around here somewhere. New-agey crystals and so on." Location unlocked: Crystal's Crystaldream Lake Crystal Store One time, with Simone
You hear raised voices and sounds of a commotion nearby, and head in that direction to check it out. As you get nearer, the voices become clearer -- somebody's calling for help! You pick up the pace and soon find a small glade in the middle of the woods, filled with odd structures, and large, beautifully-colored butterflies. Something feels a bit off about the whole scene, though, so instead of rushing in, you crouch in the bushes and creep around the perimeter, looking for the source of the yelling. Location unlocked: Faerie Lair One time
Obie stops walking and puts a hand to his ear.
"What's up, Obie?"
"Shhh. You hear that?"
"I heard you go 'shhh', is that what you mean?"
"Guess you ain't so musically inclined. There's some kinda weird... singin'. Off in that direction."
He points deeper into the woods.		 Location unlocked: Faerie Lair One time, with Obie
Alphonse starts sniffing the air intently. He gets a hungry look in his eyes, and a hungry drool on his mouth.
"I hesitate to ask, but what's up?"
"Smell faeries! Want eat!"
"Aw jeez, I don't want to deal with those things again."
"EAT!"		 Location unlocked: Faerie Lair One time, with Alphonse

Gathering encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
On a mouldering tree stump off the side of the road, you see a glowing mushroom.
There's only one reason a mushroom like that would be glowing, and that reason starts with M and ends with AGIC.		 Gather glowing ooze Cryptobotanist
Off the side of the dirt road you're walking down, you see a patch of blood moss growing on a bone tree.
Okay, it's not a bone tree. It's just a normal dead tree. I just thought it would sound cooler if I said it was a bone tree.		 Gather hematic ichor Cryptobotanist
You note a sizzleberry bush growing in a hedgerow off the side of the road.
Weird. They don't normally grow this far from a a volcano.		 Gather phlogistic resin Cryptobotanist
You hear a high-pitched buzzing sound from a nearby ditch, and take a brief detour to investigate it. It's a swarm of ultragnats! You remember learning in college that their wings flap hundreds of times faster than the wings of normal gnats. Nobody knows why; the leading theory is that they're just overachievers. Gather energizing powder Insectologist
Off the side of the road, you see a little group of mealworms, wriggling around in a pile of miscellaneous filth. You remember learning about these things in college. Gather powerful grit Insectologist
You are startled by a tiny skull painted on the side of a tree. You are then unstartled by the realization that it's just a death's head moth. You learned how to deal with these things back in college. Gather eldritch mist Insectologist
On the side of one of Crystaldream Lake's many trees, you see something curious. More accurately, you see something strange, which makes you curious.
It's a glob of sap that's hardened into amber, but it shouldn't be here -- it normally takes centuries for for sap to harden this much, and this tree can't be more than a few years old.		 Gather impenetrable shellac Psychogeologist
In a ditch next to the dirt road you're walking down, you spy a pile of coal mine tailings --it must have fallen off of a truck or something.
You remember your History of Rocks professor telling you that you could extract a little bit of hair grease from this stuff if you really put some elbow grease into it.		 Gather stylish gel Psychogeologist
Off the side of the dirt road you're walking down, you see a pile of greasy rocks.
A voice in your head tells you to squeeze them. (The voice is the voice of your History of Rocks professor, who taught you a greasy rock-squeezing technique.)		 Gather sordid grease Psychogeologist

Companion encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
< "Oh! Oh! Look at this!"

> "What's up, Gabby?"
She's pointing at a patch of large purple mushrooms growing out of a rotting log.
< "Look at these mushrooms! So fat and healthy!"
> " Oh yeah. Yeah I guess they do look... Oh huh. Wow, are you actually going to eat all of those?
< "Mmmmf mmf! gulp Gabby is taking their secrets!"

 Gabby's Maximum HP increases by 5. One time, with Gabby
"<First Name>! Look what Gabby is found!" You turn around to see Gabby -- who apparently wandered off into the woods while you weren't looking -- returning with a big handful of Meat. Gain 17 Meat. With Gabby
After a lengthy interval of time spent trudging through gray, sullen woods, Obie makes a disgusted noise. "Ugh. Can't say I'm a fan of this atmosphere."

"What, you aren't into oppressive gloom?"

Obie takes out his oboe and improvises a little tune as the two of you continue down the path -- a trilling, warbling, chirpy little melody that does a fair bit to lighten the mood. However, you eventually happen to glance behind you. The trees are absolutely filled with birds: sparrows, thrushes, miscellaneous songbirds. A whole bunch of crows. Even a couple of seagulls and one turkey buzzard. All staring at you with their beady black bird eyes.

Obie's Moxie increases by 1. One time, with Obie
A break in the trees reveals that you and Obie have wandered near to the edge of the eponymous Crystaldream Lake (and if that doesn't make any sense based on the map, well, I guess you're lost). Rather than being a sandy beach, the lake shore is composed of rocks and small stones. The weather isn't 'nice' per se, but it's not too cold and there isn't much wind, so the two of you decide to take a break for a bit. Obie sits down on a rock and noodles away on his oboe, while you spend some time skimming stones across the water. That probably counts as fighting practice to some degree, right? You throw a thing at a guy once in a while. I'll go ahead and count it. Gain 7-8 XP With Obie
Your meandering hike takes you near the lake (which may not have been reflected in the map display, but you'll just have to suspend your disbelief on that one). Molly picks up a flat stone and skims it expertly across the water. Molly's Muscle increases by 1. One time, with Molly Buttons
"Aw, nuts. Hold the line, I stepped in some kinda weird mushrooms." "Ich, spores all over my good dancin' shoes, fer cryin' out loud." Find fragrant spores With Molly Buttons
"Arf! Chompf chormp!" "What are you eating, Barker? Mushrooms? Jeez I dunno... can you tell which ones you can eat or not?" Barker's Maximum HP increased by 5. One time, with Barker
Barker runs up and drops a stick at your feet. "Arf" "What's up, boy? Wanna play fetch?" "Arf arf" Gain 7 XP With Barker
"You know, if I'm going to be providing ranged support, maybe I should practice a bit while we're somewhere relatively uninhabited." Simone's Moxie increases by 1. One time, with Simone
<"Ooh! Look what I found!"

>"Oh nice. Nice rusty scrap of sheet metal you've found there."
<"Right? Hang on a second while I weld it onto Clarence."
>"You think our enemies will catch tetanus?"
<"If they do, that's a feature that'll upgrade this kludge into a win."

Clarence's Maximum HP increased by 1. With Simone
A sudden loud VOIP! sound causes you and Dr. Adams to turn around, as a second Dr. Adams steps out of a glowing blue wormhole. Professor Adams' Mysticality increases by 1. One time, with Professor Adams
"There sure are a lot of different plants out here. Do you know about herbs and stuff, Professor? Is any of this useful?" Gain 13 XP With Professor Adams
While walking thought the forest surrounding Crystaldream Lake, you suddenly hear a horrific grinding sound.

>"What the heck is that horrific grinding sound?"
<"Brush teeth!" >"I respect good dental hygiene, but it shouldn't sound like that. Wait, are you brushing your teeth with a file?"
<"Make sharp! Remove tartar!"

 Alphonse's Swamp Chomp now deals 5 additional damage. One time, with Alphonse
<"Found thing! You take!"

>"Huh? Okay..."

shadow bomb With Alphonse

Repeatable/quest encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
A squirrel chatters angrily at you from a nearby hollow tree -- presumably trying to scare you away from its stash? A real tactical mistake on its part, since now you know where its stash is. It scampers away as you peer into the hole -- you find, not just the expected nuts, but also several wallets? Huh, has this squirrel been mugging hikers? Maybe you should get out of here before it comes back with a knife. Gain 9-12 Meat.
You find a decaying nightstand, discarded in a ditch. Which is kind of a weird place to find a nightstand. Maybe someone got so mad about stubbing their toes all the time that they angrily drove it out to the woods and threw it out of the car? Find junk drawer items
A squirrel brings a large uncracked nut to you for assistance. This takes a lot of humility for a squirrel.
Off to the side of the path, you see a squirrel with its tail stuck under a big rock.
As you're heading down one of the idyllic paths around the lake, you encounter a giant fallen tree blocking your way forward.
You discover a ring of mushrooms growing in a strange pattern.
You find some spiderwebs stretched across your path. As you move to brush them away, you notice runic patterns woven into the webs. Is it... spider writing?
The stench of death hangs heavily from the trees in this glade. But this is curious: On the forest floor, a handful of standing stones is displaced, scattered with no regard to order.
The trees in this clearing are tagged for felling. Seems some big city construction company plans on crafting a giant crossbow to kill God.
  • Untie the tags (4 Moxie) - gain 5 XP
A gaggle of boy scouts around a campfire plead with you for a scary story, for their scoutmaster--as they say-has proven "frightfully unfrightening."
  • Scare them silly (5 Moxie) - gain 6 XP
A cheeky squirrel challenges you to a race. It's a difficult course, involving several jumps and climbs.
  • Race the fool (6 Moxie) - gain 7 XP
An oddly rectangular brown rock catches your attention, and on closer inspection it turns out to be a completely rusted (and partially sunk into the ground) old pre-war soda cooler - although someone fitted a Meat-operated lock onto the door at some point. Due to the rust, you can't tell what brand it was - heck, you can't even tell if there's any sodas still in it.
  • Buy a soda, maybe (5 Meat) - find rusty cola can
  • Check the Meat return - nothing or find 5 Meat.
  • Text - nothing
Someone has set up a little lakeside refreshment stand here, although from its abandoned state it doesn't look like there's been much refreshing going on in a while. Also, depending on when you get this random encounter, it might not be particularly near the lake. Maybe that's why. There's a Meat-operated Red Cola cooler here though, which still looks to be in working order.
  • Buy a soda (5 Meat) - find Red Cola
  • Check the Meat return - nothing or find 5 Meat.
  • Text - nothing
You happen upon a small rest stop-type area just off of the path, with a rickety old picnic bench and a square brick bunker that is presumably a public toilet - although a sign on the door says "out of order," and the sound of flies buzzing inside doesn't incline you toward testing that claim. There's also a Meat-operated Blue Cola cooler, which still has a couple cans of soda in it, although judging by the rust, it doesn't look to have actually cooled anything in a while.
  • Buy a soda (5 Meat) - find Blue Cola
  • Check the Meat return - nothing or find 5 Meat.
  • Text - nothing
You continue trying to search around the woods near Sandwich Village, hoping to find Delia's lost house key. And again you give up after a short while. Finding a tiny 230-year-old key in many square miles of forest wide seems... unlikely. Maybe you'll come across something later that will help? Some kind of... lost metal finding device? Until then, this is clearly a wild goose chase. Nothing Looking for the key to the Sandwich Museum (wandering from that location)
You spend some time poking around in the woods near Sandwich Village with Rufus' metal detector, and unearth a nearly-impressive pile of trash before finally finding what you hope is Delia's house key.

Then you write "Rufus, S.I.T. Steam Tunnels" on the metal detector and stick it in a mailbox.

Find self-adhesive rivets, piece of scrap metal, chunk of lead, extremely rusty old key Looking for the key to the Sandwich Museum (wandering from that location), with Rufus' metal detector

Time travel quest

Encounter Result Conditions
You see a familiar-looking person heading toward you on the path. As they get nearer, you realize that the reason they look so familiar is because they look exactly like you.

If you greet them:
> Uh, hi. Are you a clone, or is this a time paradox, or what?
< Turns out it's a time paradox, I guess!
> Wow, crazy!
< I agree! High five!
The two of you (literally speaking) exchange a friendly high five. You gain 5 XP

  • Turn around and leave - nothing
  • Greet them:
    • Hurry away awkwardly - advance story
    • Wish them luck - advance story
    • Kiss them goodbye - advance story
 Time travel story
You see a familiar-looking person heading toward you on the path. As they get nearer, you realize that the reason they look so familiar is because they look exactly like you. Again.

If you approach them:
> Uh, hi. Are you a clone, or is this a time paradox, or what?
< Turns out it's a time paradox, I guess!
> Wow, crazy!
< I agree! High five!
The two of you (literally speaking) exchange another friendly high five. Or, well, I guess it's just the first one again. You gain 5 XP

(If you kissed them in the previous encounter, you'll kiss them again.)

  • Turn around and leave - nothing
  • Approach them - advance story
 Time travel story
The future version of yourself strolls up to you and hands you a fat wad of Meat (you know it's the future version and not the past version, because you don't remember this happening before).

< Here, take this Meat. Technically, I guess I should be repaying it to the future me, but that's me now, so you'll have to do.
> What? But what's the point in giving me Meat, if I have to give it back to me later?
< You'll be making Meat more easily later, so this won't seem like as much then. Just think of it as a no-interest loan.

You gain 300 Meat. Time travel story
The future version of yourself strolls up to you and hands you a fat wad of Meat (you know it's the future version and not the past version, beYou see your past self coming up the road toward you, and remember that 300 Meat you owe you. Maybe you ought to pay that back, so the paradox doesn't destroy causality or anything.

Pay them back:
> Here, take this Meat. Technically, I guess I should be repaying it to the future me, but that's me now, so you'll have to do. < But what's the point in giving me Meat, if I have to give it (back later?

  • Pay them back (300 meat) - advance story
  • Avoid them for now - nothing?
 Time travel story
Your future self turns up again, this time lugging an old wooden crate.

> Here, take these.
< Huh? These what?
> It's a case of antique bandages. They'll come in handy.
< But I can't use them! I'll have to keep them so I can foist them off on another me to close the loop! You're just sticking me with a pointless errand I'll have to do later.
> sigh No, dummy. You use these ones, then ask Charles Wallace for the crate of old bandages that Murray left in the storeroom. That's where I got these. < But. didn't you get them from yourself, like I'm doing now? > No, I used those. Look, just take them. Jeez, you've got a lot to learn about causality.

Get crate of antique bandages Time travel story
Oh, hey. That's your past self over there. Here's your chance to hand over that crate of old bandages.

> Here, take these.
< Huh? These what?
> It's a case of antique bandages. They'll come in handy.
< But I can't use them! I'll have to keep them so I can foist them off on another me to close the loop! You're just sticking me with a pointless errand I'll have to do later.
Oh jeez, were you really such a whiner back then? So much so that you'd refuse medical supplies from your own self? Good grief, how embarrassing.
> sigh No, dummy. You use these ones, then ask Charles Wallace for the crate of old bandages that Murray left in the storeroom. That's where I got these.
< But... didn't you get them from yourself, like I'm doing now?
Oh for crying out loud, were you not even paying attention? This is mortifying. If you ever run into the future you again, you're gonna have to apologize to them.
> No, I used those. Look, just take them. Jeez, you've got a lot to learn about causality.
< Okay fine. Jeez.

Lose crate of antique bandages, advance story. Time travel story
> Hey there! I got you a souvenir from S.I.T.

Your future self tosses you a pair of pants.
< You went to the Seaside Institute of Technology? ..Wait, I'm going to the Seaside Institute of..
> Yep! Don't forget to buy a pair of pants from the gift shop.
< To give to myself? Can't I just give them these ones?
> Yeah, but then you won't have them. So you'll want to buy a new pair for yourself.
< Which ones are these? What did you do?
> If I tell you, you won't be able to make the choice anymore.
< This is nonsense.
> Yeah, it's... it's pretty messed up.
< ...
> ...
< You wanna make out?
> sigh I guess we'd better not. We didn't last time I had this conversation.

Get S.I.T. sports shorts, S.I.T. kitchen britches, or S.I.T. jazz slacks, depending on your character class. Time travel story
You start to get that deja vu feeling again, and look around to see yourself coming up the road. This would be as good a time as any to give them that pair of pants from S.I.T.

> Hey there! I got you a souvenir from S.I.T.
You toss the pants to your puzzled past self.
< You went to the Seaside Institute of Technology? ..Wait, I'm going to the Seaside Institute of-
> Yep! Don't forget to buy a pair of pants from the gift shop.
< To give to myself? Can't I just give them these ones?
> Yeah, but then you won't have them. So you'll want to buy a new pair for yourself.
< Which ones are these? What did you do?
> If I tell you, you won't be able to make the choice anymore.
< This is nonsense. > Yeah, it's... it's pretty messed up.
< ...
> ...
< You wanna make out?
> sigh I guess we'd better not. We didn't last time I had this conversation.
< All right, well, see you later.

Lose S.I.T. sports shorts, S.I.T. kitchen britches, or S.I.T. jazz slacks, advance story. Time travel story
You meet yourself on the road again.

> Good thing I'm not the buddha.
They give you a worn-out look. Not quite a thousand-yard stare. More like... five hundred?
< Not really in the mood for jokes right now, to be honest.
< Take this damn thing.
They hold out a ring.
> Ah jeez.
< Look, you know how this works by now. I took it, so you have to take it too.
> But I'm the earlier you - ifI don't take it, then you won't have taken it either.
< I already did!
> Well, from your perspective, yes.
< That's the one that matters to me! And when you're me, you'll agree! Take. It.
> Fine, fine.
> What is it?
< A pain in the ass. You want my advice? Don't use it.
> Why not?
< Because you'll find out.
> Find out what?
< Why you shouldn't have used it. Ask Chester at Delphine Farm. He'll explain, except not really.
They turn and leave before you can ask any more questions.

Get Möbius ring. Time travel story
You see your past self in the distance, heading up the road toward you. It must be time to give them the Möbius ring.

[Give it to them]
Jeez, it's a good ring, though. It seems a shame to have to give it up. But easy come, easy go... You try to take the ring off. Boy, that 'try' is real ominous, huh? It doesn't budge. You try swapping another ring onto your main ring finger, and that works, but now you're just wearing the Möbius ring on your other hand. You switch them back, and try to take it off again, but no dice. Is this thing cursed? The other you said you shouldn't use it, and you'd find out why if you did. Being unable to give up a good ring doesn't seem like much of a curse, though. Wait... how did they give you the ring? They must have figured out a way to break the curse! Something about someone named Chester, at Delphine Farm? There aren't any farms around here, though. It must be something you'll find out about later. In the meantime, you'd better make youself scarce before this other you sees you.

With Möbius ring equipped Time travel story
You see your past self in the distance, heading up the road toward you. It must be time to give them the Möbius ring.

[Give it to them]
You meet yourself on the road again.
> Good thing I'm not the buddha.
They give you a worn-out look. Not quite a thousand-yard stare. More like... five hundred?
< Not really in the mood for jokes right now, to be honest.
< Take this damn thing.
They hold out a ring.
> Ah jeez.
< Look, you know how this works by now. I took it, so you have to take it too.
> But I'm the earlier you - ifI don't take it, then you won't have taken it either.
< I already did!
> Well, from your perspective, yes.
< That's the one that matters to me! And when you're me, you'll agree! Take. It.
> Fine, fine.
> What is it?
< A pain in the ass. You want my advice? Don't use it.
> Why not?
< Because you'll find out.
> Find out what?
< Why you shouldn't have used it. Ask Chester at Delphine Farm. He'll explain, except not really.
They turn and leave before you can ask any more questions.

After completing the Delphine Farmhouse. Get the Predestined achievement. Time travel story
Before you even get to decide whether to avoid them or not, another you strolls up to you and tosses you a bag of stuff.

< Here you go, have fun!
> Aw no, come on! You know I'll have to give them-
< No no, it's fine, you can use those. I'm not a time-looped you, I'm a parallel universe you.
They hold up their hand, and show you a ring that looks like two separate loops, interlinked.
< Different ring, see?
> Huh! Well, okay then. Thanks!
< No sweat. Gotta run, I have to rescue my Aunt Martha from evil clowns.
They leave with a wave.

Get miscellaneous chemicals, glowing ooze, stylish gel. Time travel story

Fight encounters

Note: As long as the mystic shroom in Mushroom Mountain hasn't been destroyed, a random mushman may join any wandering fight on the enemy side.

Encounter Result Conditions
Two of those hovering shadow orbs float up to you. They look basically like the ones you saw before (that is, they look like nothing, or perhaps holes in everything), but these ones move with purpose, and that purpose is menace. The two orbs... squint at you, and <your nemesis>'s voice echoes inside your head in a way that makes your eardrums itch.
Enemies
 <Nemesis>'s Left Eye
<Nemesis>'s Right Eye
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
  • Fight
  • Don't fight (stat check, always passable)
 One time, after leaving Valley Hardware
A ray of sunshine peeks through the clouds and a light breeze rustles the trees, making your hike through the woods much more pleasant, at least for the moment. You even catch sight of a group of large, gaily-colored butterflies nearby.
Enemies
 Unknown
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown

Fight 3 faeries; unlock Faerie Lair on win

One time
You hear some growling and shrieking and laughing nearby, and despite it being a bad idea because it's probably more of those horrible fairies, you go to check it out. It does in fact turn out to be more of those horrible fairies. These ones are tormenting a badger, which is backed up into a shallow burrow and frantically swatting at them as they poke at it with little knives.

Just as you're starting to back away, grateful that they haven't noticed you, you step on a dry twig. It cracks noisily, and the faeries all turn around. Dang it, twig!

Enemies
 random faerie
random faerie
random faerie
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
Just off to one side of the trail, you see two things at roughly the same time. The first thing is a whole flock of those horrible murder-faeries, dancing around merrily and laughing in shrill little voices. The second is the bloody carcass of a medium-sized bear that they're hopping up and down on, and occasionally chewing. Oh, here's a third thing: all of the fairies stopping what they're doing, and turning to look at you. One of them pulls out a revolver and giggles. Another flips open a straight-razor and makes a noise that sounds a lot like a confused and dying bear.
Enemies
 random faerie
random faerie
random faerie
random faerie
random faerie
random faerie
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
  • Fight them
  • Run away - nothing
You wander off of the main path and stroll along among the trees for a bit. It's nice to get out in nature for a bit, at least until you walk into an invisible spiderweb and it gets all tangled in your hair.

While flailing around, disgusted, trying to get it off of you, you stumble into a second spiderweb, which goes right across your face. Argh! And that's how, staggering blindly, you got yourself tangled up in a third spiderweb - this one much larger and stronger, and made to trap prey of more or less your size. The extremely large spider sitting in the corner of the web looks delighted to see you, and inasmuch as a spider can smile, this one's smile has poison dripping off of it.

Enemies
 Giant Venomous Spider
Young Venomous Spider
Young Venomous Spider
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
You pull up short, having nearly walked straight into a huge spiderweb while you weren't paying attention. Although, I guess some part of you was paying attention. Good job, whatever part that was. You turn and head in another direction, and soon find yourself stopped by another big spiderweb. So you turn around and try another direction - nope, that path ends in a big spiderweb as well. Looks like the attention-paying part of you wasn't paying enough of it to keep you from getting lost in a huge spiderweb maze. Maybe in the future you should pay attention to these things yourself, instead of just delegating.
Enemies
 Giant Fecund Spider
Young Venomous Spider
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 spider-leg wand
spider venom sac
spider eggs
creepy forest fetish
(?% chance)
You're walking through the woods around Crys-- Aaaah there's a huge spider! It jumps down outta nowhere and aims its butt right at your face and shoots a huge glob of web at you!!
Enemies
 Giant Fecund Spider
Young Venomous Spider
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 spider-leg wand
spider venom sac
spider eggs
creepy forest fetish
(?% chance)
  • Dodge out of the way (3 Moxie) - gain 8 XP
  • Fail to dodge out of the way:
A huge rotten log is blocking your path through the wood. I mean, well, not blocking per se -- it's just a log, it isn't infinitely long or anything. You can go around it. It just, you know, interrupted you? You know what I mean.
Anyway, there's a big rotten log here.
Enemies
 Mushling
Mushmother
Mushling
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
With a ruckus of mumbling, burbling, grumbling, and screeching, a whole crowd of very angry mushrooms storm out of the underbrush to attack you! Jeez, what is these guys' deal?
Enemies
 random mushman
random mushman
random mushman
random mushman
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
Three figures approach you, their faces obscured by the shadows of the trees. "Wah. Wah ooh." then, "Wah ooh wah."
Enemies
 Manmush Magus
Manmush Magus
Manmush Magus
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
  • Attack them
  • Try to talk to them:
    • "Wah ooh ooh?" - The strange men look somewhat mollified. "Ooh ooh ooh. Wah ooh." - gain 7 XP.
    • Any other option - One of them scowls angrily. "Wah wah ooh!" (pick again)
  • 'Surrender (after three failures) - get beaten up
Somewhere nearby, you hear singing -- a languid, sultry, wordless tune that makes your feet turn of their own accord and lead you off the path and deeper into the forest. Your senses feel numbed, as though you're walking through a thick fog, and it's getting difficult to... um... brain. After a short time, you arrive at the edge of a small clearing. A pale woman in a long red dress is lounging on a rock, shaded by the branches overhead. She smiles when she sees you, and reaches out her hand, gesturing for you to approach. Your feet start to shuffle forward.
Enemies
 Vampire Siren
random vampire
random vampire
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
You push through the woods and into a small clearing and discover a group of three vampires, because apparently you aren't allowed to discover anything good in any of these clearings. Well, I say three vampires, but there's one vampire, one bat, and one small cloud. So it could just be a vampire, her pet bat, and the leftovers of a beans lunch.
Enemies
 Vampire (Mist Form)
Vampire (Bat Form)
random vampire
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
In a thickly overgrown and essentially sunless part of the woods, you happen across two large and burly vampires. They seem pretty ticked off - they're growling menacingly, shoving each other around, and so forth. Some kind of spooky territory dispute? Or maybe one of them drank a tourist that the other was saving for a special occasion? The nature of their argument is unclear. What is clear is that these guys are very strong, and you'd better be pretty sure of yourself if you plan to do something before they notice you.
Enemies
 Brutish Vampire
random vampire
Brutish Vampire
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
Two mob goons step out of the trees on either side of you, with menacing looks on their faces. One of them takes out a handkerchief and gives his brass knuckles a quick polish. A third, better-dressed guy strolls out of the shadows after them, lighting a cigarette.
Enemies
 Mob Goon
Mob Capo
Mob Sawbones
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
  • Fight them
  • You think you can take me on? (Brag) - nothing
  • Look deep into my eyes... (Bewitch) - nothing
  • There must be a mistake, pal (Bamboozle) - nothing
  • [shadow text] (cursed fedora) - nothing
  • Surrender - get beaten up
 Refused the offer to join the Mob
Several mob goons step out of the woods and block your path.
Enemies
 random mobster
Mob Goon
Mob Goon
random mobster
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
  • All right, fine. - lose 30 Meat
  • Haggle with them (6 Moxie)
    • Great. lose 20 Meat
    • I changed my mind, let's fight.
    • I changed my mind, go ahead and beat me up. - get beaten up
  • That's usurious! - fight
  • Go ahead and beat me up, I guess.
 Refused the offer to join the Mob
You hear very loud repeated gunfire from somewhere nearby in the woods. Ordinarily, these random encounters start with you going to check out whatever's going on, and then dealing with the consequences of whatever you find -- this time, though, I'm gonna give you the option to not be the sort of person who walks toward the sound of an active warzone.
Enemies
 random Mob gunner
random Mob gunner
random Mob gunner
XP (kill)
 7-8
Drops
 Unknown
  • Fight them
  • Run away - nothing
 Refused the offer to join the Mob

Shadow encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
You catch a skittery movement out of the corner of your eye, and quickly turn to face... well, nothing, it turns out. You were ready to face a bunch of spiders or something, but there's nothing here but shadows. It must've just been some tree branches moving in the wind, or something. Oh, no, wait - it's the shadows. The shadows are just literally also spiders, it turns out.
A trio of figures in hooded white robes step out of the trees around you. It's hard to tell if the robes contain person-shaped shadow monsters, or if they're regular people whose faces are concealed by the shadows of their hoods. Well, not that "regular people" go around wearing hooded robes very often anyway. And whichever it is, it doesn't seem like they have good intentions. <shadow text>
Your trip is interrupted by a pack of those creepy scuttling little shadow guys. Ugh. I dunno about you, but these guys give me the heebie-jeebies. That would be a pretty good name for them, actually. "Heebie-jeebies." Unless they already have a name. Although if they do, it's probably... [shadow text] ...or something like that, not like a regular human- pronounceable name. Aw jeez, sorry -- they appear to have surrounded you while I was talking. After seeing shadow homunculus
As you make your way down the forest path, you hear a rustling in the bushes behind you -- jeez, what is it with forest creatures and their constant bush-rustling? Don't they have anything better to do? You turn around to admonish them, and come face-to-sternum with two massive tusked shadow brutes, who have somehow become jammed shoulder-to-shoulder between two large trees. I guess they were too busy stalking you to pay attention to their surroundings. You have about three seconds before they figure a way out of their Laurel & Hardy-esque predicament. After seeing shadow brute
A strange low moaning sound comes from somewhere nearby, and you decide to check it out. Which is a terrible decision to make! But I guess we don't have a story otherwise, sooo... You discover a small clearing in the woods, where several shadow cows are grazing idly around a large shadowy bell. Every now and then one of them moos, except it sounds like "oooomm" with a lot of bass and reverb. How did they get all the way here from the farmlands? That probably isn't good news. They certainly aren't good moos. Ha ha. After seeing shadow cow
The cursed compass pulls you west and westeast deep into the heart of the forest, the trees expanding fast in size and number. All around you are trees, trees and more trees -- until, like the popping of an ear, all noise ceases, and there is quiet. You are in a clearing. At the end of a long wooden table sits an eight-foot skeleton on a mossy throne, wearing a crown of sticks and leaves. The skeleton is immobile, bound to its chair by vines and drizzles of sap. In its hands are a knife and fork. The dinner meal is on the table. Gain shadow salad Wielding the cursed compass
The cursed compass needle twitches to life (if you can call it living) and thrusts its pointy head urgently south. It leads you to the trunk of an ancient tree. Though the tree may have once stood proudly in the days before cities and men, it is now infirm, wizened, and dribbling sweet-smelling sap from a thousand little holes. There's not much left in the old guy. Gain shadow milkshake Wielding the cursed compass

S.I.T. Campus, Porkham

S.I.T. Wander Events occur as you travel from location to location within S.I.T. Campus, Porkham. You can also choose to wander repeatedly from the map screen.

The game tracks the last five wander encounters you've seen and presumably tries to avoid giving the same encounter in a row.

Location unlocks

Encounter Result Conditions
On your walk across campus, you get the nod from a rail-rider with a grossly swollen bindle. Location unlocked: Ovid's Store one time

Gathering encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
You notice some slimy lichen growing in the drain of a broken water fountain. Gather stylish gel Cryptobotanist
Next to a trash can, you find a discarded houseplant with a little sign on it reading FREE TO A GOOD HOME.
It must've been there for a while, because the plant is obviously dead.		 Gather eldritch mist Cryptobotanist
In an alley between two campus buildings, you find a daisy growing out of a pile of discarded coffee grounds. Gather energizing powder Cryptobotanist
[re_region3_gather_bugs1] You find a trail of glowing ooze leading from the door of a science classroom to a nearby steam vent. Gather glowing ooze Insectologist
[re_region3_gather_bugs2] As you're going down one of the campus' seemingly infinite number of hallways, you notice a glass case full of insect specimens. There's a lac bug in there, just begging to be squeezed. Gather impenetrable shellac Insectologist
[re_region3_gather_bugs3] Some student has left a mini-fridge on the sidewalk, with one sign on it that says FREE and a second, smaller sign that says BROKEN. You notice some residue on the fridge's condenser coil, which turns out to be the discarded eggshells of a frost cockroach! Gather frosty flakes Insectologist
On the way to where you're going, you wander into a vacant laboratory and look around. A big chunk of bloodstone ore sits on one of the lab workbenches. From the notes on the chalkboard, you conclude that somebody was trying to prove, definitively, that you can't get blood from a stone. Gather hematic ichor Psychogeologist
As you're walking near the banks of the Porkham river, a medium-sized chunk of sulfur laps up onto the bank. It smells pretty bad. Gather fustulent grulch Psychogeologist
You find a discarded gym bag on the sidewalk. Gather powerful grit Psychogeologist

Companion encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
You notice Gabby is lagging behind, due to reading a book while she's walking. Gabby's Mysticality increases by 1. With Gabby, one time.
"Oh, look! Robot drinks!" With Gabby
"Excuse me are you a hobo?" ... Obie: "Think the lady was referrin' to me, chief." Obie's Maximum HP increases by 5 With Obie, one-time
"While wandering the S.I.T. campus, you and Obie pass a large courtyard, where a bunch of students are hanging out." Obie: "Well now! My finely-tuned jazz-man senses are registering a golden opportunity.?"
  • Find 15 Meat
 With Obie
beep beep! You turn around to see a postman tip his cap to Molly and putter away on his motor-scooter.
Look! I got a present from my jellybean up in the big hose! 		Molly's Maximum HP increases by 5. With Molly Buttons, one time
"You okay, Molly? You've gone five whole minutes without saying a word."
  • Gain 11 XP
 With Molly Buttons
You hear a crashing sound from a nearby classroom. "Ah jeez. Barker? Where did you go?" Barker's Muscle increases by 1. With Barker, one time.
[re_region3_companion_barker_misc] "Barker? Jeez, where did that dog-plant hybrid-thing get to now?" With Barker.
<"One moment, if you pleaſe -- as we are near the Adminiſtrations Building, it might behoove me to look in and check my mail."

>"Oh, sure. I'll wait here."

Professor Adams' Nasty Flask now applies 3 additional Poison. With Professor Adams, one time
As the two of you are strolling across campus, Dr. Adams takes out his pipe and starts patting his pockets.
"Matches, matches... Hmm, hold theſe for a moment would you?" 		With Professor Adams
Simone picks up a discarded newspaper. Simone's Mysticality increases by 1. With Simone, one time
Simone: "Hang on a minute, Clarence is in a flaky state and I need to make some adjustments. C'mon little buddy, what's the source of breakage here?"

Clarence: "bleep boop"
Simone: "Oh, is that all? Easy fix."

With Simone
[re_region3_companion_alphonse_levelup] "Chompf chormp!" Uh, I'm not sure I really want to know, but what are you eating? "Book! Smart now!" Alphonse's Mysticality increases by 1. With Alphonse Gator, one time
[re_region3_companion_alphonse_misc] "Look here! Weapons room!" This is a music classroom. These are musical instruments. With Alphonse Gator

Repeatable/quest encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region3_treasure1] As you're walking past one of S.IT's many weird vending machines, it suddenly emits an ear-splitting clang, after which it also emits a sizable quantity of Meat. There isn't anybody around, so you pocket it. Find 14-17 Meat.
[re_region3_treasure2] An SIT. student wearing a bulky overcoat flags you down as you're crossing the street.

"Do you find yourself in need of a fuse this fine day?"

  • Actually yes, I'm fresh out of fuses. - get fuse (have no fuses)
  • I have one, but two would be better. - get fuse (have one fuse)
  • "Er... yes." (Lie) - nothing (have two or more fuses)
  • No thank you - nothing
[re_xp_easy] You wander into an empty classroom and find a blackboard covered with complex physics equations.
  • Exercise with it (5 Muscle) - gain 6 XP
[re_xp_medium] You wander into an empty classroom and find a blackboard covered with complex physics equations.
  • Struggle to understand them (6 Muscle) - gain 7 XP
[re_xp_hard] You wander into an empty classroom and find a blackboard covered with complex physics equations.
  • Erase them (7 Muscle) - gain 8 XP
[re_xp_easy] You wander into an empty classroom and find a blackboard covered with complex physics equations.
  • Memorize them (5 Mysticality) - gain 6 XP
  • Ignore them - nothing
[re_xp_medium] You wander into an empty classroom and find a blackboard covered with complex physics equations.
  • Internalize them (6 Mysticality) - gain 7 XP
  • Externalize them (by leaving) - nothing
[re_xp_hard] You wander into an empty classroom and find a blackboard covered with complex physics equations.
  • Improve them (7 Mysticality) - gain 8 XP
  • Leave it alone - nothing
[re_xp_medium] You wander into an empty classroom and find a blackboard covered with complex physics equations.
  • Punch them up (6 Moxie) - gain 7 XP
[re_xp_hard] You wander into an empty classroom and find a blackboard covered with complex physics equations.
  • Make them more interesting (7 Moxie) - gain 7 XP
  • Lose interest and leave - nothing
First time: On the walk across campus, a head pops out of a storm drain. "Haven't seen you round before."

[re_region3_salesman2] Or, further times: A head pops out of the storm drain. It must be that used textbook salesman again, because there can't be too many of these guys.

Buy for 172-198 Meat one of:
[re_region3_fishtribute] A friendly-looking fishman sticks his head out of a nearby steam vent and tosses a bunch of wet stuff at you with a friendly gurgle. Gain 3 of: : fish-liver oil, bucket of chum, fishman throwing spear, delicious oyster; gain 43-49 Meat. If you befriended the Fishmother

Fight encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region3_fight_robot1] You seem to have taken a wrong turn somewhere. Unless you were trying to get to a subterranean maintenance corridor filled with steam pipes. Maybe you were, considering it's SIT. and all. You turn around and start to head back, but a homemade (well, classroom-made, probably) maintenance robot trundles into view and turns a valve wheel. Hot steam shoots out of a nearby pipe, blocking your exit!
[re_region3_fight_robot2] Loud crashing sounds and yelling from a nearby classroom attract your attention and curiosity; you cautiously poke your head in the door, and then quickly poke it back out again to dodge a handful of bolts thrown by an angry robot. Several students are cowering behind overturned desks, and you crawl back there to join them as the two robots wildly throw junk everywhere.

The robot says "DIE IN A FIRE YOU BASTARD" and "GO PISS UP A ROPE" in binary ASCII.

[re_region3_fight_robot3] Your progress from wherever you started to wherever you're going is interrupted when three robots appear and move to block your path. "HUMAN INTERCEPTED."
[re_region3_fight_science1] You wander into a science lab, and arrive just in time to see several experiments go berserk and break out of their beakers and petri dishes. Or, to put it another way, you arrive a little too late to not be in trouble. A large goo beast knocks over a cannister of liquid nitrogen, blocking the room's only exit with a wall of freezing fog. Which is an impressively tactical move for something about four seconds old.
[re_region3_fight_science2] You wander into a science lab, and see that someone has left some kind of experimental magical reactor running unattended. Maybe they realized it was in the process of explosively overloading and ran away? Maybe you should follow their example?
[re_region3_fight_science3] As you're walking down a hallway in one of S.I.T's many and various science buildings, a lab door suddenly bursts open and a wild-eyed lab-coated man runs out with two large fizzing test tubes in his hands. "Refuse my tenure, will they? Those fools! I'll destroy them all! Don't try to stop me!"
[re_region3_fight_jocklin1] While exploring the halls of S.I.T., you take a wrong turn and find yourself in a locker room full of goblins. As best as you can figure out from context, this must be SIT.'s varsity snapping-towels-at butts team. Except the sport probably has a better name than that. Towelbutt? Buttsnap?
[re_region3_fight_jocklin2] While exploring the halls of S.I.T., you happen upon a group of tough-looking goblins wearing backwards ball caps, slouching around insolently and watching for nerds to harass. Given that this is S.I.T., you'd think they'd be spoiled for choice, but apparently they've settled on you.
[re_region3_fight_jocklin3] Out on the quad, you encounter two goblin cheerleaders, who are cheering on a goblin wearing a baseball uniform, despite the fact that the baseballer doesn't seem to be doing anything cheerworthy, or even noteworthy. "B!" "A!" "S!" "E!" "B!" "A!" "L!" "L!"
[re_region3_fight_math1] You wander through a doorway marked "Department of Esoteric and Forbidden Mathematics," and immediately get lost - despite the fact that it was a single straight hallway without any intersections. The walls and floor meet at weird angles, and I didn't mention the ceiling because there isn't one, just another wall. As you're desperately trying to keep your cool and figure your way out of here, an office door opens and a cloud of irrational numbers seeps out -- so irrational that you might as well call them insane.
[re_region3_fight_math2] Walking down a hallway in S.I.T.'s math department, you pass a chalkboard with a bunch of complicated math scribbled on it, with a circle drawn around that and the note "Do Not Erase." Feeling waggish and rebellious, you erase just the circle. Unfortunately, it turns out that the circle was keeping the math on the chalkboard, and it all flies off to attack you.
[re_region3_fight_math3] This must be S.I.T.'s math department. You can tell, because there's a bunch of loose math flying around, making a ruckus. And I mean a physical ruckus, not the sort of ruckus you get when someone tries to argue that .999 repeating doesn't equal 1.
[re_region3_fight_vampire1] Oh jeez. You are super lost. You accidentally wandered into the university steam tunnels, and you know, if you asked me if the steam tunnels had a direct connection to the town's sewer system, I'd've said probably not? But here you are now. And to make matters worse, you appear to have ended up in a lair of feral vampires. Let me tell you, my friend, they are not happy to see you. Two of them are crouched down on all fours, snarling and spitting, and a third guy is howling and just totally gushing blood out of his eye sockets. It is a real bad scene. Have not removed the vampires in the boiler room
[re_region3_fight_vampire2] You wind up in a spooky, dark hallway in one of S.IT's lecture buildings. There's not anything sinister about it, it's just dark and spooky because a couple of the lights have burned out and nobody's been around to change the bulbs yet. Probably because it's kind of dark and spooky in here. Oh wait, it just got a little sinister actually, because a weird pale bald guy with a goatee has skulked out of the shadows and is waggling his fingers at you. Have not removed the vampires in the boiler room
[re_region3_fight_vampire3] You hear cheering and chanting coming from a ramshackle, abandoned-looking frat house, and wander inside to see what's going on. What's going on is that some vampires have found a bunch of medical blood bags somewhere, and have hooked them all up to the same line. One vampire is on the floor underneath the I.V. stand, desperately chugging from the tube, while the others are chanting "Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!" Have not removed the vampires in the boiler room
You decide to take a shortcut down an alley between two buildings... er, as opposed to any other kind of alley, I guess... but find your path blocked by an open manhole spewing thick greenish-brown steam. It smells about like you'd expect. Unfortunately, when you turn around to head back, you find three fishmen slithering out of the shadows to block your path. Have not made peace with the Fishmother
You decide to take a shortcut between two of the university buildings. It's a little dark and spooky in there, but nothing to be scared of, really. Oh, until you hear a manhole cover scraping open, and turn to see a fishman glaring at you as it starts to climb out. Have not made peace with the Fishmother
You decide to take a shortcut between some campus buildings, and come face to face with two fishmen who are hanging out in the darkened alley. They seem surprised to see you, and one of them makes wild gestures at you while yelling something. However, even if you could understand its language, that would be hampered a bit by the tremendous volume of water that pours out of the fishman's mouth as it yells. Have not made peace with the Fishmother
You smell smoke near one of S.I.T.'s maintenance buildings, and discover a trio of Mob goons stoking a large bonfire. Refused the offer to join the Mob
So you're walking down a street on the S.I.T. campus, when suddenly three mob guys round the corner in front of you. They stare at you for a second, and then one of them points at you. Refused the offer to join the Mob

You wander into the foyer of a University building, and discover a bunch of booths and signs everywhere -- signs recruiting for various financial and engineering firms. A job fair, apparently. One booth catches your eye:
• FLEXIBLE HOURS
• OPPORTUNITY FOR ADVANCEMENT
• BE A PART OF THE FAMILY
JOIN THE MOB TODAY!
Three mob goons are manning the booth, handing out flyers to passing students.

Refused the offer to join the Mob

Shadow encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region3_fight_shadow1] You walk past a phone booth and wh... well, there's clearly something not right with this phone booth. I mean, the booth itself looks fine, but there's some kind of wriggling, twitching, shadowy mass inside it? Like a horrible multi-armed monstrosity scrabbling to get free? As you're standing there watching, one of the arms manages to grab the door handle, and the shadow spills out onto the sidewalk, splitting into five creepy little human-shaped shadows. What is this, some kind of shadow fraternity prank?
[re_region3_fight_shadow2] With a not-exactly-audible hiss, several of the strange bar-shaped shadows you saw at the fridge factory slide into view from nowhere. They arrange themselves into a circle and orbit around the central point, which opens like an eye, revealing a diamond-shaped prism of black shadow. Man, are any of the geometry professors around? They would really want to see this.
[re_region3_fight_shadow3] You turn a corner and encounter a very weird sight. And yes, I'm aware that your tolerance for things being weird is already pretty high at this point. There are three shadows here, this time in the shape of little people. They seem to be grovelling and praying and twitching before a fourth little shadow figure, which is basically the same except it has horns and a little pitchfork like a cartoon devil. Is this... is this meant to be some kind of shadow mimicry and/or mockery of human religions? Am I maybe overthinking this?
You hear a loud repeated BONG! sound, and look up to see the campus clock tower. Huh, is it midnight already? Oh, wait. No, it just seems really dark because of a huge cloud of shadow bats flying out of the tower's belfry. Whew, you nearly thought your watch had stopped. After seeing shadow bats
You overhear some students griping about not being able to hold field-hockey practice because there's a bunch of weird cows in the quad. So naturally you go and check it out, and as it happens, there are in fact a bunch of weird cows in the quad. Specifically, a bunch of those weird shadow cows you saw in the farmlands before. Are cows a migratory species? If they are, how did they bring that big black cowbell with them? After seeing shadow cows
The cursed compass' needle wriggles into action, jabbing directions violently: south, north, southnorth. You arrive after a minute at a small bridge between campuses. After another minute, you realize the compass is telling you to look under the bridge. Gain shadow bomb Wielding the cursed compass
You've run across the same poster a couple times now. "MISSING: THE OLD SIT MAKE-OUT KING." Handsome enough fellow. You can see how he got the crown. The needle of the cursed compass flickers into action. The needle directs you west, towards the dorms. Gain shadow hot dog, shadow beer Wielding the cursed compass

The Big Moist

Location unlocks

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region4_discover_frogbog] Distant frog sounds become less distant frog sounds as you find yourself very close to a lot of frogs. Location unlocked: The Frogbog one time
Barker starts sniffing the air excitedly, and trots out ahead of you, then turns to see if you're following. Location unlocked: The Frogbog one time, with Barker
[re_region4_discover_squad] You take a wrong turn, and instead of ending up where you wanted to be, you end up at the Monster Shack. You know it's the Monster Shack because of the big sign on it that says Monster Shack. Location unlocked: Monster Shack one time
[re_region4_discover_feudhouses] About twenty copies of a "missing" poster are nailed to each tree in a grove of swamp cypress. Whoever's getting the word out, they've been effective. Or at least comprehensive. Location unlocked: Largemouth Bass & Sons (also option to add Charles to missing poster one time
[re_region4_discover_treehouse] A flash of light cuts through the trees. The glare passes and then you see it, poking its head out above the canopy: a telescope! one time
[re_region4_discover_mudhenge] "You, there!" An excessively jovial man struts out from behind the trees. "New to these parts, is it? Ever heard of our Mudhenge? I'll bet you didn't know that it's actually one-point-three times larger than any comparable henge you'd care to name?"
  • I did not know about mudhenge - Location unlocked: Mudhenge
  • No, I didn't know that - ?
  • What is Mudhenge, my good sir? - Location unlocked: Mudhenge
 one time
"Oh! Oh! Do you know what there is?
"... Here? Uh, there's mud. And, um... mud."
"No, not here! Nearby!"
"You have to go pretty far before it isn't mud."
"Yes, but it's a henge! Mudhenge! A local tourist attractor! Gabby has read about that but never went!"		 Location unlocked: Mudhenge One time, with Gabby
[re_region4_discover_runway] You catch a whiff of burnt rubber, and see a column of smoke drifting into the sky nearby. As you get closer to the site, you see that a small airplane has crashed into the mud. Or perhaps 'splatted', or 'glorped' into the mud. Location Unlocked: Crash Site one time
[xxx] "My goodneſs - look there, in the Diſtance! Is my perception of Depth playing tricks upon me, or have the Birds of this era (grown to ſimply enormous ſize?" "Huh? Oh, no, that's a plane." Location Unlocked: Crash Site with Professor Adams, one time
[re_region4_discover_shineshack] You briefly lose track of where you're going, because all of these big wet trees look the same. You stumble across a ramshackle dwelling bearing the unmistakable aroma of illicit distillation. Location unlocked: Moonshiners' Cave one time
You step through a copse of swamp cyprus and to the edge of a gloomy clearing, quiet but for the sound of dirt raining on an open grave. Two burly men work hurriedly with shovels to bury the corpse of a gatorman, whose epaulets, hat and mailbag mark him as some manner of mailman. As the gator is swallowed whole by the mud, his gravediggers straighten up and look you in the eye, sweaty but defiant. You have stumbled upon the darkest and most secret part of the swamp, where sins are buried, and gators. Location Unlocked: The Leathers Brothers one time
"Hist! Get an eyeful of those two big palookas over there!"
"Hist?"
Molly points out two burly men dressed in leather and furs, burying the body of a dead gatorman. Well, considering the swampy grounds, they're less burying it, and more just covering it in mud. They look up in surprise as Molly saunters over nonchalantly.		 Location Unlocked: The Leathers Brothers one time, with Molly Buttons
[re_region4_companion_alphonse_mapunlock] "Gruh? What? WHAT?" You wander over to see what's up. Alphonse has discovered two burly men dressed in leather and furs, burying the body of a dead gatorman. Well, considering the swampy ground, they're less burying it, and more just covering it mud. Location Unlocked: The Leathers Brothers one time, with Alphonse.
[re_region4_discover_sunkentrain] As you pick your way through the muck of the swamp, you encounter one of those new-fangled diagonal half boxcars. Wait a minute. There's no such thing as a diagonal half boxcar. It's just a regular boxcar, half sunk into the swamp. Location unlocked: Sunken Boxcar one time
"You know, I recall there's an old boxcar out this way that passing hobos camp in from time to time. We could check it out, see if anyone's in." Location unlocked: Sunken Boxcar one time, with Obie
Simone taps on her robot's remote-control a couple times, then holds it up to her ear and shakes it. Location unlocked: Radio Shack one time, with Simone
[xxx] As you're on the way to the quarry those talking frogs wanted you to go to, you stop to consider how strange the situation you've gotten yourself into is.

You're startled out of your reverie by the smell of smoke -- you've stumbled upon a recently-abandoned campsite! Maybe there's a clue towards where Charles went?

Location unlocked: Abandoned Campsite one time, when traveling to Haim Quarry?

Gathering encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region4_gather_plants1] You notice a little cluster of foul-smelling flowers. Because of college, you know that the foul smell comes from some nasty juice inside the petals. Gather fustulent grulch Cryptobotanist
[re_region4_gather_plants2] You find a little cluster of veiny, muscular-looking cattails. If you know your plants (which you do) then that means they're chock full of strong, sinewy fibers. Gather powerful grit Cryptobotanist
[re_region4_gather_plants3] What you take to be a giant bleeding tooth jutting out of a tree stump turns out to be one of those mushrooms that looks just like a giant bleeding tooth. Gather hematic ichor Cryptobotanist
[re_region4_gather_bugs1] Nestled into a rotting tree stump, you find a colony of barf-weevils. Gather fustulent grulch Insectologist
[re_region4_gather_bugs2] In the middle of a soggy tussock, you find a clutch of grease grubs. You remember from college that their eggs are coated in a useful type of slime. Gather stylish gel Insectologist
[re_region4_gather_bugs3] You find an extremely bulbous mother cicada stuck to the side of a big mangrove tree. You assume it's full of regular old cicada milk, but from the way it's twitching, it seems like it might be lactating coffee instead. Gather energizing powder Insectologist
[re_region4_gather_rocks1] You notice a big brown rock, half-submerged in the swamp. It's an ancient mammoth coprolith! Gather fustulent grulch Psychogeologist
[re_region4_gather_rocks2] You find some glowing green rocks half-submerged in some brackish swamp water. You recognize it as petrified St. Elmo's Fire! Gather glowing ooze Psychogeologist
[re_region4_gather_rocks3] You find a chunk of oil shale jutting out of a stagnant pool, making the surrounding water all greasy and colorful. Gather impenetrable shellac Psychogeologist

Companion encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region4_getalphonse] Suddenly, a tuft of swamp shrubbery (swubbery) parts, and a man with the head of an alligator pops out, glaring at you.

> Whoop! Uh, hello. You must be one of the gatormen Jessica was talking about, huh?
< HUMAN? HOW HUMAN?

Alphonse has joined you as a companion. One time, with "shadow_player" flag at least 200.
"Ooh!"
Gabby has found some mushrooms with bright-red spots, and is picking them. 		Gabby's Healing Spores now also cure Poison. With Gabby, one time
"Ha ha! Get an eye on this!"
Gabby comes up with a bunch of Meat in her hands, and gives it to you. 		Gain 17 Meat With Gabby, repeatable
As you and Obie are sludging through the trudge and/or trudging through the sludge, Obie pauses for a moment. Obie's Reed Slice causes 3 additional Bleeding. With Obie, one time
While sloshing your way trough the swamp, you and Obie stumble into the most horrible situation you've ever encountered: a mosquito breeding pong. They aren't unusually monstrous or alien mosquitoes, just normal ones. But there's a lot of them. Gain 14 XP With Obie, repeatable
"Nuts to this swamp! Look, my best glad-rags are turnin' into actual rags! These stockings are silk!" Molly's Maximum HP increases by 5. With Molly, one time
sploomp

"Gah! Fer the love'a... what's with all these stinkin' mushrooms? I've got spores all over me again! Why I oughta..."

With Molly, repeatable
"Arf? Grrr."
You look back -- Barker has somehow gotten entangled in a clump of thorny, tough-looking vines. 		Barker's Petal Chomp now deals 3 additional damage. With Barker, one time
Barker: "Chomp chorp."
You: "Barker, if I know one thing about plants, it's that you shouldn't eat ones with shiny purple leaves."
Barker:"Hurk horrrk." 		Gather two random crafting materials (with Cryptobotanist) With Barker, repeatable
You and Simone stop to investigate an abandoned campsite. Simone's Maximum HP increases by 5. With Simone, one time
"Ugh, this swamp really stinks. Barf, barf." With Simone, repeatable
[xxx] "So, Professor, where are you from originally?" "Well, I've ſpent moſt of my life in theſe Eaſtern Colonies. However, I was born in London. In 1666 actually - the year of the Great Fire. Not my fault! I was only a baby, after all." Professor Adams gains 3 Hot Armor. with Professor Adams, one time
[xxx] Dear me, dear me... this wretched Swamp is going to ruin my various Reagents and Powders. Find miscellaneous chemicals with Professor Adams, repeatable
[re_region4_companion_alphonse_levelup] "Grah! Why here? Swamp dumb! We go!" "What, you don't like the swamp? It's your home!" "Bad home! All mud! Smell gross!" Alphonse's Muscle increases by 1. with Alphonse, one time
[re_region4_companion_alphonse_misc] "Grah. Find food. You take." Find one of shadow hot dog, shadow pickle with Alphonse, repeatable

Repeatable/quest encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_xp_easy] You find an interesting-looking rock, half-buried in the muck.
  • Pull it out (7 Muscle) - get 7 XP.
  • Leave it to its damp fate - nothing.
A quite embarrassed gentleman, waist deep in swamp muck, gives you a wave. "Seem to be stuck," he says. "But I'm not too proud to ask for help."
  • Help (8 Muscle) - get 8 XP
  • Unfortunately, you're too weak to give it - nothing
[re_xp_hard] Gotta watch your step in this swamp. You come across a man sunk up to his elbows in the sludge. "Yes, I do appear to be stuck," he says, "but I am too proud to ask for help."
  • Pull him out anyway (9 Muscle) - get 9 XP
  • Respect his wishes and leave - nothing
[re_xp_easy] In a clearing, a band of cub scouts sing fight songs around a fire. The scout leader waves you down. "I don't know which way's which in this damn swamp," he whispers, and shows you his compass. "Can't find the damn North star! Been leading these boys in circles for three days. If they figure me out, pal, it won't be marshmallows they're toastin' tomorrow."
  • Teach him how to read a compass (7 Mysticality) - get 7 XP.
  • You're not sure how to help him - nothing.
[re_xp_medium] Swamp gas clouds the sky. The heavens alight with strange new constellations, unlike any you've seen before.
  • Study them (8 Mysticality) - get 8 XP
  • That's nice and all but you have places to be - nothing.
[re_xp_hard] A radio transmission cuts through the thick swamp air. A series of beeps and tones, of varying length and pitch. Random noise, perhaps, or some coded message?
  • Scry a pattern in the sounds (9 Mysticality) - get 9 XP
  • Let's say random noise, and leave it there - nothing.
A whistling man paddles a canoe through two inches of swamp water. He hits a rock and capsizes. In the very shallow slime, he thrashes and splashes, screaming about gators.
  • Calm him down (7 Moxie) - get 7 XP
  • It's two inches of water -- he'll be fine - nothing
[re_xp_medium] You come across a busted and smoking truck in the depths of the swamp. The driver, eating a sandwich in the cab, gives you a sorry shrug. "Engine plum ran out of grease," he says.
  • Squeeze some more grease out of the engine (8 Moxie) - get 8 XP
  • Shrug back. What can you do? - nothing
[re_xp_hard] HOOOOAAANK! A thundering honk rattles the trees. Birds flee. Fish hide. You do not know what creature gave this honk, but you know it rules this swamp through fear.
  • Honk back (9 Moxie) - get 9 XP
  • Let whatever it is rule the swamp today - nothing
[re_region4_treasure1] A burly hunter trudging through the mud gives a holler. As he nears, you see he's toting a shotgun under one arm and carrying a pile of gator hides over a shoulder. Gain 17-21 Meat, then 10 more Meat. one time
[re_region4_treasure1] The shotgun-toting gator hunter hollars at you from behind the trees. Gain 17-23 Meat after above encounter, repeatable
[re_region4_treasure2] Now here's a sad sight. Old house, abandoned long ago to the swamp. Half sunk in the wet muck that passes in these parts for roads. Mighta been a nice family lived in that house one time. Now ya look at it. 'S a shame, is all.
  • Go inside (keep exploring) - find a jewelry case
  • Keep on walking
[re_region4_salesman1] You find the arm of a travelling salesman sticking out of the ground. Given the condition of the arm, it seems like the body it's attached to must've been down there for quite some time. Grab the ring: find random ring, then option to Give the arm a proper burial (shovel): bury him
[re_region4_salesman2] You find an old medicine show wagon overturned in the swamp. Most of its contents have long-since hazardously dissolved into the local ecosystem, but there's probably some stuff left. Find two sets of first aid kit items
[xxx] As you round a clump of... mangrove trees, or whatever kind of trees these are, you come face to face with a bearded gatorman and his big filthy sack. BUY SACK! 110-128 MEAT! SALE FINAL!
[re_region4_swordlady] In a gloomy grove of sunken cypress trees, a well-muscled woman stands waist-deep in the opaque bog. Her hands rest on the pommel of a sword, its blade lodged in the muck. It catches your eye because it's not the type of thing you tend to see on the east coast. one-time
A spot of color in this drab swamp catches your eye, and you find a pile of withered orange husks in front of a shallow cave. This must be the lair of the chupanaranja! While looking for the chupanaranja
Despite anything the map might have to say about it, you've managed to wander back to the spot where you set that trap for the chupanaranja. Peering through the bushes, you discover that your trap has indeed trapped... something. It sort of looks like a giant toad with a tentacle face, covered in boils that might also be eyes? You have no idea what a chupanaranja looks like, but this seems about as likely as anything you were imagining.

[*Note: there is a better chance of getting the chupanaranja nostril with a better quality trap. If you don't upgrade it at all you have a 30% chance of succeeding. Each upgrade to the trap gives +10% better chance; up to 80% chance of succeeding.] 		After setting chupanaranja trap
That's odd, this patch of muddy ground has a lot of tracks in it that look like human handprints. Well, except for the fact that humans don't normally walk around on their hands. Maybe there was an acrobat convention. In the middle of a swamp. Oh, what was that thing the one kid was talking about? The honey ape? Hmm, maybe there's something to that after all.
  • Follow the tracks:
  • Enh, too busy -- some other time, maybe - nothing
 While looking for the honey ape
You're browsing your way through the swamp, taking a sniff through your nose trumpet now and then. This swamp smells terrible. I mean, a swamp is literally just "Standing Water and Rotting Compost: The Biome", so it's not like that's news or anything. But you wouldn't be surprised if this swamp was at least nominated for World's Worst-Smelling Swamp.
  • Run up and grab it (7 Stench Armor) - get stinky ester
  • Follow it at a safe distance:
  • Leave it alone for now
 While looking for the smell-o-the-wisp

Fight encounters

Encounter Result Conditions

Your slog through the swamp is interrupted by an unfortunately familiar face:

(as Pig Skinner:) "Hold it right there, maggot!"
(as Cheese Wizard:) "There you are, dearie! How nice to see you again, although I would have wished for a more festive setting. But I'm afraid this can't wait for the winter snow."
(as Jazz Agent:) "Halt, interloper. Your pernicious interference ends here."

"Ah jeez, not you again."

One time
Ugh, argh, you've accidentally walked right into a huge swarm of gnats and flies and they're buzzing super loud and... actually they've got a pretty good beat going. Are those... tiny musical instruments?
[re_region4_fight_swarm2] A geyser of swamp gas erupts nearby, with a loud THBBPPBPBPBIT! sound and a brownish-yellow cloud. I won't bother trying to describe the smell, I'm sure you can imagine it for yourself.
[re_region4_fight_swarm3] Ugh, here's a grisly sight - the carcass of some kind of swamp animal, covered in huge ticks. Oh no, wait -- some of them are buzzing around in the air. Are they actually wasps?
[re_region4_fight_gator1]

Well, that's something you don't see every day - a big haunch of raw meat hanging from a tree branch in the middle of a swamp. Or at least, I don't see that every day. Maybe you spend more time in swamps than I do. Anyway, not wanting to let a perfectly good haunch go to waste, you approach it -- and with a cartoonish SPROING!, you and <companion> find yourselves trapped in a big net, hanging from the tree.

  • Tear yourself loose (6 Muscle) - get swamp haunch
  • Wait for your captors to arrive
    • Struggle - fight 4 gatormen
    • Surrender - get beaten up
[re_region4_fight_gator2] Ooh, look -- there's a big shiny treasure chest on that tussock over there!
  • Check it out:
    • Fight them - fight 4 gatormen
    • Throw your haunch of meat at them (swamp haunch) - nothing
    • Surrender - get Regretful
  • Ignore it and leave:
    • Are you sure?:
      • Are you sure?:
        • Are you sure?:
          • Are you sure? - leave
  • What's a tussock? - pick again
[re_region4_fight_gator3] All of a sudden, you hear a gatorman screaming wildly to your left! And then, just as suddenly, another gatorman starts screaming to your right! You hear an angry snarl behind you and turn aroundanother gatorman! Oh yes! And then you hear someone say "Ugh" behind you, so you turn around again. There's another gatorman! You're surrounded!
  • Fight them (fight) - fight 4 gatormen
  • Stand very still and hope they leave - get Twitchy
A portly man in a white linen suit, sitting in a wicker chair in a flat-bottomed boat, is being fanned by two large bats as he poles his craft through the murky swamp water.
[re_region4_fight_vampire2] You see a plume of smoke coming from behind a nearby clump of trees and brush, and as you draw nearer the sounds of ragged cackling and giggling can be heard. Ooh, could it be a coven of real swamp witches? "Oh, hi. You fellas cooking up a batch of corn?"
[re_region4_fight_vampire3] You hear a commotion - - or perhaps a tussle, or a good old-fashioned ruckus -- nearby. Investigating, you find that several vampires have a gatorman pinned to the ground, and appear to be trying to vampirize him.
A fancy mob dame with a long cigarette holder -- and a rowboat to perch in, out of the mud -- is holding court over a trio of low-level palookas. Rejected the offer to join the Mob
Your way is blocked by a full squad of mob thugs -- six of them, including one particularly shady-looking guy wearing a collander. Two of the goons are holding a "barricade" consisting of a two-by-four painted with yellow and black stripes. Rejected the offer to join the Mob
You discover a run-down old swamp shack, with several mob goons hauling crates out of it and loading them into a delivery truck. A guard points his shotgun at you with a glare. Rejected the offer to join the Mob

Shadow encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region4_fight_shadow1] You spot a shadow orb hovering around, and decide to follow it deeper into the swamp. That might seem like a bad plan, considering the old stories about people following will-o-the-wisps and becoming lost in the swamp forever. But, a will-o-the-wisp is a floating ball of light, and this is the opposite of that. So, logically, this is actually a very good plan. Except for how it leads you right into a group of tentacley shadow monsters.
[re_region4_fight_shadow2] Suddenly, silently, a flock of shadowy bats fly up out of the swamp, leaving not a single ripple on the surface of the water as they do so. It is quite frankly the gothiest thing you've ever seen in your life, and you've probably fought actual vampires by now.
[re_region4_fight_shadow3] A black shape looms into view. At first it's difficult to make out from the silhouette, but it seems to be a massive shadow brute. It doesn't immediately react to your presenceperhaps it's facing away, although again it's hard to tell. From its movements, it seems to be eating something? Then another shape -- a flappy, bat-winged shape - unfurls itself on the brute's shoulder and screeches noiselessly at you. The brute starts to turn around ..
What the-- this clearing is full of shadow cows! Why would they be in the swamp? Did they follow you here? Surely the swamp is not a normal place for cows. Like, I'm pretty sure swamp cows aren't a thing, right? One second while I... yeah, no, not a thing. Not outside of Florida, anyway. What's going on here? After seeing shadow cows
Distinct amongst the interminable muck, your shoes crunch on a crisp sheet of paper. It's a note. "I'll be waiting for you," it reads, "in our 'special place' (the swamp) with your favorite: cucumber and grapes. - C." The cursed compass stirs into action. The needle gestures in a westnortherly direction. Get shadow pickle and shadow wine Wielding the cursed compass
A whispered woodwind melody drifts quietly along in the thick swamp air. A perfectly pleasant accompaniment to the swamp's soundscape, but the needle of your cursed compass is twitching violently, so whatever's going on is probably not pleasant at all. Get shadow clarinet Wielding the cursed compass

Gray County

Location unlocks

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region5_discover_blackgoldmine] The dirt back-road you're following branches off an even dirtier, backier-road. An old wooden turn-marker reads "Păpuşășcu", which is real exciting if you're into diacritics. You shade your eyes with your hand in that way people do when trying to see a far distance, like they're pretending they have invisible binoculars, or something. You can kind of make out a low pile of rubble that might be a completely destroyed house? And behind that, some kind of shed or something? Location unlocked: Păpuşășcu Homestead One time
"I ſay... the Land-scape has changed a bit, but I do remember a Family that lived in this region."
"Really?"
"Yes, the Păpuşășcu family. Charming people. They used to ſell me Gold for my experiments on transforming Gold into Lead."		 Location unlocked: Păpuşășcu Homestead One time, with Professor Adams
[re_region5_discover_ooze] You notice an especially strong petrochemical smell, nestled in between all of the medium-strength petrochemical smells this region is full of. You glance in the direction of the smell and see a big pool of crude oil, writhing around and burbling to itself. Location unlocked: The Burbling Ooze One time
Barker's hackles rise, and he starts growling and sniffing at the air.
"Grrrr.. Arf! Arf!"
What've you got, boy?"
He sniffs out a trail, and starts following it cautiously, growling and bristling all the while. Whatever it is, he seems torn between interest and hatred.		 Location unlocked: The Burbling Ooze One time, with Barker
[re_region5_discover_windmill] On the road you pass a farmer, slumped in a wooden chair. He rocks back and forth on his front porch, although there is no house behind him. "Lookin' for the Old Ham Mill? It's thar way, though it hasn't blown for some time."
  • "Where's the rest of your house, old man?" - First of all, I'm not old. I'm tharteen. Younger 'n you, I reckon. As for the house, bank took it. It's tough times all over.
  • "I don't care about an Old Ham Mill." - ?
  • Go there now - ?
  • Keep going where you were going - ?
 Location unlocked: Old Ham Mill One time
"Oh hey kitty, there's a tourist spot not far from here. A real traditional old windmill. Wanna go have a look-see?"
"That doesn't sound like something you'd be in to, Molly?"
"It ain't! But if I go another minute in this place with nothin' ta look at but smoke and oil wells, I'm gonna flip my lid!"		 Location unlocked: Old Ham Mill One time, with Molly Buttons
"I heard that there's a really neat old windmill nearby here, wanna go have a look?"
"Are you planning to disassemble it and make a helicopter?"
"... Well, I wasn't, but..."		 Location unlocked: Old Ham Mill One time, with Simone
[re_region5_discover_thewell] Just off the road, a little path leads down to an old stone well. Here, at the top of the path, there's a sign that just says "DON'T". Next to that there's another sign, with a skull and crossbones on it. Next to that, there's a post with a hook on it, and a rusty fire extinguisher hanging from the hook. So that's a little unusual. Location unlocked: The H***hole One time
"Oh, oh! Gabby heard about a place to see! A witching well!"
"Do you mean a 'wishing well'?"
"No! Different! A Gabby friend dropped her handbag into that and it returned back containing fires and screams!"
"...What?"		 Location unlocked: The H***hole One time, with Gabby
You pass by a small farm, where a little girl sits crying, next to a wooden dollhouse.
"Aw, what's wrong, little girl?"
sniff "The puckwudgies stole all my dollhouse furniture!"
"The what now?"
"They're mean little elves! Like, from the fairytales?"		 Location unlocked: Puckwudgie Village One time
Alphonse sniffs the air greedily.
"Smell good! Hungry!"
"What do you smell?"
sniffff "Faeries! ...Maybe?"
"Oh jeez, not those things again."
"Different, though? Not sure... Oh, puckwudgies!"		 Location unlocked: Puckwudgie Village One time, with Alphonse
[re_region5_discover_daughterhouse] There is an ominous crack in the sky, and in the space of a single charged second, the wide farm road is drenched with fast-falling rain that bites to the bone. It's farm rain, all right: cold as ice and twice as nasty. The long and level plains of this country offer no shelter except, perhaps, for a lone house you spy off in the distance, perhaps half a mile to the east. Location unlocked: Borge House
  • Run there now - go to Borge House
  • Keep going where you were going (7 Cold Armor) - go to original destination
  • Try and tough out the rain - get Sniffly Bones
 One time
"Oh hey, there's a family livin' not far from here that did me a good turn last time I was through this way. If you don't mind, I'd like to have a look in on 'em and see how they're doin'. You know, considerin'... gestures around at everything ..all'a this." Location unlocked: Borge House One time, with Obie

Gathering encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region5_gather_plants1] In the midst of a burned-out orchard, you happen upon an apple tree that is still on fire. Gather phlogistic resin Cryptobotanist
[re_region5_gather_plants2] You find a sickly tree growing out of a six-inch-deep puddle of crude oil. It's exuding some of the greasiest sap you've ever seen. Gather sordid grease Cryptobotanist
[re_region5_gather_plants3] Across the road, you notice a field of what you're pretty sure is high-mana sorghum.
You cross the road to get a better look, and the overwhelming smell of mana in the air confirms your suspicions.		 Gather glowing ooze Cryptobotanist
[re_region5_gather_bugs1] You find a few mostly-boiled grubs stuck to a hot pipe on the side of an oil pump. Poor little guys. They don't even drive. Gather phlogistic resin Insectologist
[re_region5_gather_bugs2] You hear a wet buzzing noise coming from a rickety old shed off the side of the road. You step inside and find a big nest of mayonaisse wasps. Luckily, you know how to gather the oily goodness inside without being stung. Gather sordid grease Insectologist
[re_region5_gather_bugs3] You come upon a blow-over gain silo surrounded by piles of old rotting corn.
You take a closer look, and find that the corn is full of plump, wriggling musclegrubs. They're a great source of protein!		 Gather powerful grit Insectologist
[re_region5_gather_rocks1] You hear a sizzling sound coming from a nearby ditch, and find a very angry rock, stewing in about six inches of brackish water. Gather phlogistic resin Psychogeologist
[re_region5_gather_rocks2] In the distance, you see a pile of gravel. Gather frosty flakes Psychogeologist
[re_region5_gather_rocks3] Parked near an old barn, you encounter a motorcycle carved out of stone. It's so cool. Gather stylish gel Psychogeologist

Companion encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region5_companion_gabby_levelup] "Look, look! What that is??" Gabby's gesturing excitedly at a tower in the near distance, which is shooting a huge gout of fire into the air. Gabby looks around and finds a discarded gas can by the side of the road, and starts chugging out of it. Gabby learns a new skill: Fire Dance With Gabby; one time
[re_region5_companion_gabby_misc] "Gabby? Where'd you go?" "Gabby is over here! With snacks!" Find one of: decomposing pâté, extra-fatty pâté, pâté d'toilet, pâté sorbet, self-braising pâté With Gabby
[re_region5_companion_obie_levelup] A nearby burnoff tower shoots a gout of flame into the air with a loud fwoomph, and after the two of you get over being kind of startled, Obie looks at it for a while, tapping his chin thoughtfully. Obie's Hot Lick now deals 3 additional damage. With Obie; one time
[re_region5_companion_obie_misc] You and Obie come across a pile of empty oil barrels -- which is not itself novel, they're all over the place. But there's one that's standing by itself, a little apart from the pile, and it has a lid on it. Gain 23 Meat With Obie
[re_region5_companion_alphonse_levelup] "Ugh, I hate this place nearly as bad as the swamp." Molly's Mysticality increases by 1. With Molly Buttons; one time
[re_region5_companion_molly_misc] < Oh crap, look out behind you!

braaaaap!! Molly spins around and mows the figure down in a hail of bullets.
> Hah! Sneak up on me, will ya? Take a dose of hot lead! This is just a scarecrow, sugar.

 Gain 25 XP With Molly Buttons
[re_region5_companion_alphonse_levelup] < Grah! Hungry!

> I know. You're always hungry, that's just a basic fact about you.
< Not baseline! Hungry hungry!
> Oh. Hmm. Well, there's a bunch of abandoned farms around. Maybe we can find something...
< COWS??
> There haven't been any cows in this country for decades.
< I know. Thinking wishful.
Look around. Eventually, you find a pasture with a small flock of aimlessly grazing goats. The ensuing carnage is too extreme to describe.
< *burp* Excuse me.
He tosses away the goat horn he was using to pick his teeth.

Alphonse's Maximum HP increases by 5.

With Alphonse; one time

[re_region5_companion_alphonse_misc] Alphonse starts sniffing the air curiously. "sniff sniff Huh. Smell shadow. Smell... booze." Find shadow elixir With Alphonse
[re_region5_companion_adams_levelup] "Er, one moment, if you pleaſe." Professor Adams' Moxie increases by 1. With Professor Adams; one time
[re_region5_companion_adams_misc] Dr. Adams stops and indicates a puddle of oil on the ground. Find refined oil, electrified oil With Professor Adams
[re_region5_companion_barker_levelup] Suddenly, the air is split by a terrible noise, a combined roar-screech-howl like a banshee slowly being crushed under a steamroller. Barker's Howl now decreases all enemy stats. With Barker; one time
[re_region5_companion_barker_misc] "Barker? Where did you go?"
"Arf! Arf!"		 Find mana-enriched flour With Barker
[re_region5_companion_simone_levelup] "Oh, hey, would you look at that."
Simone points out an old, traditional windmill, such as you might see in a classical landscape painting.		 Simone's Coil Discharge now deals 1 extra damage to each target. With Simone; one time
[re_region5_companion_simone_misc] "You know, we'd make much better time if you didn't have to stop to search every abandoned barn for junk and scraps." Find anarchist's hardware With Simone

Repeatable/quest encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region5_treasure1] The wind blows an old sheet of paper into your face with a plap! Kind of nostalgic! You peel it off and read it: "Izzy - I stashed the Meat from the bank job under the old burnt tree. Meet me there Tuesday to divvy it up. Don't tell Marv, I wanna cut that dumb palooka outta the deal." You look around, and discover that you're standing next to an old lightning-blasted oak tree, with a hole dug next to it. Three skeletons are lying around the hole, with rusted pistols still clenched in their hands. In the hole, you find a big burlap sack with the symbol for Meat stenciled on the side. Find ?-21-25-? Meat.
You come across a kid with a makeshift roadside stand and a hat two sizes too big.
Hi miss! Wanna but a brownie hat?"
[re_xp_easy] The farmer outside the barn hands you a broom. "If you're fixin' to be stayin' under my roof, you'll work for the privilege. Stables need sweepin'. Last time they were cleaned, the president was... well, I ain't sure we had presidents back then."
  • Clean the stables (8 Muscle) - gain 8 XP.
  • Explain that you are not fixing to stay under his roof, and that he is yelling at you from a mile down the road - nothing
[re_xp_medium] An indeterminate number of feral hogs have captured a large farm here. Based on their appetites (they're eating cars, engines and all), it won't be long before they move on to conquer anew.
  • Truss the hogs (9 Muscle) - gain 9 XP
  • To the hogs, the spoils - nothing
[re_xp_hard] An elderly woman, rocking on her front porch, ask if you wouldn't mind collecting something for her from the pharmacy. Her bull has gotten loose in there and become addicted to prescription amphetamines.
  • Pick up her bull (10 Muscle) - gain 10 XP
  • Say you can't help, but wish her luck with it - nothing
[re_xp_easy] Carrion birds surround an unidentifiable carcass. They scram when your approach, leaving the puzzle of bones behind.
  • Reconstruct the skeleton (8 Mysticality) - gain 8 XP
  • Don't play with bones - nothing
[re_xp_medium] The house on the corner has abandoned its front garden to squalor. It is a disgraceful vision. Flowers give up and die. Tomatoes roll down the road into traffic. Carrots grow in reverse until they pop out of existence.
  • You must do something-- tend to the garden (9 Mysticality) - gain 9 XP
  • 'Tis not my soil to tend - nothing
[re_xp_hard] "See that bee?" You didn't even notice the person speaking to you at first. "He'll be dead in 132 years. All bees will. I can make predictions that far out because I've got a long telescope. But as for the why? Why are the bees going extinct? Well, I don't know that. Reckon nobody does."
  • Explain it, and also how to avoid bee extinction (10 Mysticality) - gain 10 XP
  • Tell him it's not your "bzz-ness" and laugh - nothing
[re_xp_easy] A pitiful scarecrow slumps in a field, scaring nobody. Crows bring their friends to laugh at him.
  • Make a scarier crow (8 Moxie) - gain 8 XP
  • Leave it -- the world is scarier enough - nothing
[re_xp_medium] The Montgomerys are farm folk. They've been on this land for generations. But all that's about to change. There's a big FORECLOSURE sign on the front fence of the old Montgomery farm.
  • Do something (9 Moxie) - gain 9 XP
  • Times are tough all over - nothing
[re_xp_hard] Word reaches you that the folk in this land are in need of a horse whisperer. Specifically, someone to whisper at this particular horse named Jeff to stop eating horse flesh, because it's making the farmers uncomfortable.
  • Be the horse whisperer (10 Moxie) - gain 10 XP
  • Is it ethical to tell a horse what to eat? - nothing
[re_region5_salesman1] You find an abandoned truck, parked on the side of the road with its hood open. Its old, peeling bumper sticker says "I'd Rather Be Fishin'."

Underneath that, someone's written: "Screw it, I'm goin' fishin'." Most of the engine is gone, plus the doors and the entire glovebox. But somehow there's still a toolbox in the back.

* Find toolbox items.
[re_region5_timequest_chester] A kindly-faced old man greets you from his rocking chair in front of an old farmhouse.

< Howdy there, friend. Name's Chester. Don't see many new faces in these parts.
> Chester? Oh, hey! My future... uh, someone, said I should talk to you.
< A future someone, eh? Talk to me about what?
> This ring.
< Oh, dearie-dear. You're wearing the Möbius ring. So you've used its power, have you? Found out about the curse?
> Well, I've found out that I can't take it off. Is that a problem?
< It is for you, Sylvester.
> ...It occurs to me that I didn't actually introduce myself yet.
< Heh. I said I don't see many new faces in these parts. Your face, I've seen quite a few times.
> Ah jeez.
< The curse of that ring is, once you use its power, you're trapped in its loop. Gotta follow the loop, and you can't get rid of it 'til the loop is finished.
> But a future me gave it to me. So they must have found a wa to break the curse and take it off, right?
< Nope. What they did was get themself another ring -- a future copy of it -- to give to you.v > That jerk!
< Naw, don't be mad at yourself. Didn't have a choice - it's part of the loop.
> I've been looping since before I got the ring, though.
< Yeah, that's the before-shocks. But what caused the whole hing was you putting that ring on and using its power. You ould've avoided it all by not using the ring, but it's too late row, I'm afraid.
> Wait a second - - but the future me had already used it. How could I not have?
< Because the Möbius ring is a loop, see? And what makes a loop a loop, is that it's got a hole. That ring's loophole is that (you don't have to use it. But once you do, you're trapped.
> Nuts.
< Don't worry, kiddo. All you gotta do -- all you can do, are going to do - is get another one and give it to your younger self. And hopefully, that one'll listen when you tell them not to use it.
> All right. So, where do I go next?
< Delphine Farm.
> And where's that?
< Right here.
He gestures at the house behind him.

 Location unlocked: Delphine Farm After equipping möbius ring, see Crystaldream Lake Wander Events.
[re_region5_swordlady2] There's something familiar about the long-haired woman on the road, who stands waist-deep in a puddle of last night's rain. Ah, yes: it's the woman you last saw standing waist-deep in the swamp bog. But this time, she bears no sword. It doesn't look like she has brought you any gifts or treats at all. For decades the blade of your great-aunt was hidden with my family for safekeeping. Now the weapon is yours, but our business is not yet concluded.
  • I haven't used the sword much lately though.:
    • "I was waiting for this day. What's the boon?":
      • "I thought you lived in the water." - pick again
      • "You got it." (400 meat) - You lost a perk: Swamp Geas, you gain 12 XP.
      • ''"I'm not paying you that!" -
    • "I don't care about my geas. Actually, I love it." -
  • Other option -

Fight encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region5_fight_oil1] Look out! A rolling boulder of sticky crude oil is coming down the hill at a terrifyingly slow speed. If you don't get out of the way in the next three to four hours, you're truck food. Have not taken the first option in this encounter
A dozen eyes wink and two mouths make kisses, at you, from withing a squirming corpulent blob of crude oil. This is very rude of the blob, and it likely only feels comfortable in being so because it is protected by a circle of electrified shale spires that spark with lightning. Have not taken the first option in this encounter
[re_region5_fight_oil3] A small lake of oil defiles the landscape, and so does the guy taking a bath in it. As you draw closer, you see it's not a guy at all, but a man-shaped oil creature, stewing in his own juices. He's nude but for an oversize Stetson. Well, you assume nude. Who knows what's he's wearing downstairs. Maybe more

Stetsons. "Nice hat," he says, raising a slick fist. "Give it."

Have not taken the first option in this encounter
[re_region5_fight_puck1] Even you, good liege, must nap from time to time. A burned-out truck cab in a ditch looks an ideal spot, but you awake in the dirt, limbs stretched and tied by a bunch of nasty little elven creatures. A trap!
[re_region5_fight_puck2] Four little elven creatures step off the side of the road and encircle you in a slow dance. It's horrible. Just awful, the way they move. You don't like it. But you can't help but watch. It's... hypnotic. You think you could watch these things dance for the rest of your life.
[re_region5_fight_puck3] A gang of elven creatures rush you on the dirt road, and show you a very provocative flip book that, you guess, they've drawn themselves?

Some nasty pictures in there.

[re_region5_fight_devil1]A pack of hulking devils crest the horizon, surfing the back of a giant inflatable rat. Some jumpy little fellers hop up and down on the balloon rat's nose. ♫ Be your name Hellstrom or Joffregal McDoo Someone's gotta give these devils their due! ♫
[re_region5_fight_devil2]The farm rain picks up something wild, and the open doors of a nearby barn provide the only shelter. You dash inside. From the rafters hang a gang of gargoyles, who drop and block the entrance. Pay up. Shelter ain't free. This here's a B&B, and whether that stands for bed an' breakfast, or black an'blue, that's up to you.
An ensemble of terrifying demons blocks your path.
Hark! Thou may think out countenances quite devilish, madam, but be assured; our band are lovers,not fighters. Lovers of the theater.
Yea, we are an acting troupe, trying to make a name for ourselves in thy realm.
An expensive endeavour, alas; we find ourselves in need of vulgar coin.
Verily, so pay up before we pound thee.
[re_region5_fight_ducks, duckement: hot] The ancient Greeks postulated five elemental ducks. Element one is fire. Aristotle said certain ducks can breathe this. And here comes such a duck now. A large boy, flopping himself right in your path, daring you to brave his flames. Have not cleared the ducks from MacMillicancuddy's Farm
[re_region5_fight_ducks, duckement: cold] The ancient Greeks postulated five elemental ducks. The second element. Water. Socrates spoke of a certain ducks who can freeze water in its very belly, and belch it up as cubes. And here comes such a duck now. He sits in your path and chills the night air. Have not cleared the ducks from MacMillicancuddy's Farm
The ancient Greeks postulated five elemental ducks. Third element is spookiness. Plato wrote of certain ducks who are as spooky as the day is long. You will know them by their otherworldly noises and songs. And here comes such a duck now. She stands her ground in your path, and begins an eerie ballad that turns the day to night. Have not cleared the ducks from MacMillicancuddy's Farm
[re_region5_fight_ducks, duckement: stench] The ancient Greeks postulated five elemental ducks. Element four. Stench. Pythagoras wrote of certain ducks that smell just terrible. Pestiferous ducks that poison the air with big messy belches. Here comes such a duck now. Sticking its webbed feet in the road, blocking your path, girding itself to let loose a big one. Have not cleared the ducks from MacMillicancuddy's Farm
The ancient Greeks postulated five elemental ducks. Number five is grease. Epicuras spoke of greasy ducks. Ducks that take sleazy bites and nibbles out of anything, or anyone, they damn well choose. Here comes one of those ducks now. A real big boy, sitting in your path, spooling out its tacky tongue. Have not cleared the ducks from MacMillicancuddy's Farm

Shadow encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
[re_region5_fight_shadow1]And then you hear a deep moo sound that reverberates through your guts, all the way down to the colon end. Slowly, you turn around... that field was empty before. Now it contains an entire herd of black wounds in space, each one in the shape of a cow. In the middle of them, a shadow cowbell hangs silently on a post.
The cursed compass draws your attention to an aged well outside a farmhouse. You've never felt the instrument so excited. All is not well in that well. The well's rope extends down into its dark belly.
  • Pull the rope up:
    • Catch the rope and/or snake - get shadow rope
    • Are you kidding? Don't touch it! - nothing
 Wielding the cursed compass
Despite the bank-wrought desolation and violent incursions from the oil barons, the farmlands still possess a pastoral beauty. But that, too, is shattered, when the cursed compass curls its black needle like a tongue, and flickers westeasterly at a mailbox.
  • Open the mailbox:
    • Oh, I'll take that! - get random ring
    • Return the letter to the mailbox - nothing
 Wielding the cursed compass

Government Valley

Gathering encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
In a gutter, you find a frozen black rose. Discarded. Alone.
It's symbolic of something, I'm just sure of it.		 Gather frosty flakes Cryptobotanist
Among the region's many dead trees, you spot one shot through with glowing green veins. That's probably an indication of something good. Gather glowing ooze Cryptobotanist
In a cracked concrete planter in front of a once-great edifice, a sad little plant is breathing its last. Gather eldritch mist Cryptobotanist
You hear a clicking noise behind you, and turn to hear a spider with a big mouth full of human teeth. Insectologist
On the side of a crumbling ruin, you find the remains of a nest of frost roaches. They seem to have left for greener pastures, which to them would mean a slightly less destroyed building. Gather frosty flakes Insectologist
You notice a massive caterpillar sitting atop a half-collapsed pillar. It stares at you with sad, dead eyes. Its hair is fabulous. Gather stylish gel Insectologist
You find the crumbling foundation of what was once a towering obsidian pillar. Gather eldritch mist Psychogeologist
You encounter the stone foundation of a bakery that appears to have sufferent some kind of... massive explosion. Gather powerful grit Psychogeologist
You encounter the collapsed stone walls of a massive edifice. An adult bookstore, if you had to guess, based on features I will not describe in detail. Gather sordid grease Psychogeologist

Companion encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
As you and Gabby make your way through row after row of identical gray government buildings, you pass by a poster that has been carefully and precisely pasted to a wall. It features a silhouette of a flapper kicking one leg in the air, with a big red X over the silhouette and the slogan:
Remember: DANCING IS PROHIBITED on Government property! 		Gabby's Moxie increases by 1. With Gabby, one time
"Ugh! This place is depressing me! Only offices and concretes, all gray and broken! It is the opposite of a bee's knees! Gain 24-32 Meat With Gabby
Obie looks around at the regimented gray concrete buildings of Government Valley, and gets a disgusted look on his face. Obie's Moxie increases by 1. With Obie, one time
You and Obie encounter a stiff gray man wearing a stiff gray suit, who looks baffled and unnerved by your appearance. Find government-issue necktie and 30 XP With Obie
"What... the... frig?"
Molly has stopped in front of a wall that has been plastered with several broadsheet posters. The illustration is of a sultry blonde woman making a kissy-face at the viewer, with a battleship on fire in the background. 		Molly's Tommy Spray hits 3 additional times. With Molly Buttons, one time
With a sinister hissing, the shadows of a nearby alley coalesce into the forms of three shadow policemen. Gain 30 XP With Molly Buttons
<"Arf! Woof!"
>"What's up boy? Find something?"
>"Oh! Well, would you look at that."
Barker has found a flower -- a small white daisy, growing out of a crack in the gray concrete pavement. 		Barker gains 3 HP regen. With Barker, one time
<"Grrrrr!"
>"Huh? What's -- agh!"
The shadows of a nearby alley coalesce into two humanoid figures. It looks like they might be shadow-cops, because the shape of their heads kind of look like police hats? It's hard to tell with just the silhouettes. Could be shadow-mailmen. 		Gain 30 XP With Barker
*cough, cough* Ugh, jeez. The pollution in this place is really doing a number on me. How are you holding up, Professor? Professor Adams' Muscle increases by 1. With Professor Adams, one time
Dr. Adams makes a 'hmm' sound and pats his pockets.
>"Looking for something?"
<"It appears, under the Circumstances, ſome more powerful Potions and Elixirs may be called for. Ah, here we go." 		Find 2 miscellaneous chemicals and two crafting ingredients. With Professor Adams
Simone stops for a moment to look around at all the identical gray concrete buildings of Government Valley. Simone's Mysticality increases by 1. With Simone, one time
Simone pauses by a chainlink gate blocking off an alley. Find 2 anarchist's hardware and two crafting ingredients. With Simone
Alphonse crouches down next to a gutter and rubs some of the mud between his fingers and sniffs it. It glistens black -- not with oil, but what you've come to recognize as the shadow-stuff. Alphonse's Maximum HP increases by 5. With Alphonse, one time
Alphonse sniffs the air and looks around at the concrete streets and crumbling, abandoned storefronts. Soon, he spots what he's looking for -- an old Meat-operate drinks cooler sitting on the corner out front of a boarded-up convenience store. Find shadow elixir With Alphonse

Repeatable/quest encounters

Encounter Result Conditions
You find yourself in front of a forbidding building -- the crumbling ruin of some old government office, its bureaucrats now replaced with regular rats.
  • Explore it: Find 25-36 Meat
  • Ignore it: nothing
Amid the blackened rubble of an old building, somebody has erected a granite statue of (a mean-looking army guy named/that bastard) General Bruise.
  • Deface it (9 Muscle) - Gain 9 XP
  • Frown and move along - nothing
On a deserted street corner, they've put up a cast-iron statue of 9a mean-looking army guy named/that bastard) General Bruise.
  • Deface it (10 Muscle) - Gain 10 XP
  • Frown and move along - nothing
In a deserted public square, you come upon a towering obsidian statue of (a mean-looking army guy named/that bastard) General Bruise.
  • Deface it (11 Muscle) - Gain 11 XP
  • Frown and move along - nothing
Nestled amid the ashes of an old city park, you spot a statue of (some shadowy functionary named/your nemesis, the sinister wizard lady) Dark Noël.
  • Vandalize it (9 Mysticality) - Gain 9 XP
  • Face away from it and leave - nothing
As you approach a bombed-out street corner, you stumble across a cast-iron statue -- a twenty-foot likeness of (some evil-looking wizard lady named/your nemesis) Dark Noël.
  • Destroy it (10 Mysticality) - Gain 10 XP
  • Scowl at it and leave - nothing
You discover a terrifying obsidian statue, towering over a block of bombed-out apartment buildings. It's (some mean-looking wizard lady named/that horrible wizard lady) Dark Noël.
  • Topple the statue (11 Mysticality) - Gain 11 XP
  • Toddle off - nothing
Standing tall in the wreckage of a burned-out garage is a statue of (a shadowy accountant named/your nemesis, the sinister accountant) Terrence Poindexter. It's like he was put there to quantify the damage.
  • Vandalize the statue (9 Moxie) - Gain 9 XP
  • Frown and move on - nothing
Who puts up statues of accountants? There's a cast-iron one of (a humorless drip named/that humorless drip) Terrence Poindexter looming over the abandoned commissary.
  • Vandalize the statue (10 Moxie) - Gain 10 XP
  • Grumble and move on - nothing
An obsidian statue of that sinister accountant Terrence Poindexter stands in the ashes of the old library, commemorating the occasion of Terrence Poindexter burning the library down for accounting irregularities.
  • Deface the statue (11 Moxie) - Gain 11 XP
  • Mutter a swear word and move on - nothing

Another... squad? Gang? Murder? of ballerinas pirouettes toward you. Looks like it's time for a "Grand Battement", where 'battement' is a ballet term meaning 'beating', although they probably don't usually mean it in the regular sense. In this context though, yeah.
or
As some more of those weird ballerinas approach you, you stop to ponder the fact that the true horror of this situation isn't simply the physical violence, it's the corruption of one of humanity's most beautiful forms of art, twisting it into a tool of horror and brutality. Hey! Hey, stop pondering stuff! You're being attacked! Pay attention!
or
More shadow-ballerinas leap out of the darkness and twirl into an attack formation, and it just occurred to me that team ballet fights would be an incredible sport, I would watch that all the time. Do any of you know who I have to write to, to make that happen?

  • Fight them (fight) - fight ballerinas and deranged nutcrackers
  • Reveal yourself to them (Shadow Taint level 5) - get XP
  • Give up - get beaten up

You encounter another group of those guys whom you might characterize as "cultists", except you can't imagine them carrying out any ceremony more somber and intricate than "set each other on fire while yelling." But hey, I'm not a religious type, what do I know.
or
"AAAARRRGGH" -- It's another group of those poor shadow-crazed people. One of them seems to be trying to eat his own face without taking it off first, and the others are providing supportive noise. It's sad stuff, but the concept of 'therapy' has barely just been invented, let alone refined in any way, so there isn't much you can do for them -- other than try desperately not to get murdered by them. Which, let's be honest here, is really more for your own benefit.
or
Another group of those shadow-maniacs rounds the corner. You know what they're like? They're a lot like the zombies in one of those movies where the zombies aren't actually undead, they're just people with Really Angry Bitey Disease, so they can still run real fast. Sorry, I guess that comparison isn't germaine to the setting -- I don't know if zombies even exist as a concept in 1928. Not gonna look it up, though.

You hear panting behind you that sounds like if you repeatedly scuffed coarse sandpaper across the living-room carpet, followed by a screech that sounds like your mom catching you doing that. Another one of those massive, black shadow dogs crouches, prepared to leap. It isn't gonna wait til your father gets home.
Another one of those half-plant half-alien slime creatures wriggles awkwardly toward you on its tentacles. It makes some chirping and belching noises, presumably as some kind of threat, but it's hard to feel threatened by it even knowing that it's actually pretty dangerous. I mean come on, look at it. It's gross and silly.
Oh god, oh jeez, it's another one of those hovering tumor clusters. I mean, looking at it is bad enough, but fighting it? You might have to hit it with a melee attack! Even if you win, it'll probably POP and get juice everywhere!

Non-region-specific encounters

Encounter Conditions Non-Combat Options
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